Seriously.. Slap mi.. i ask Benzy 2 do it on mi... n he agree he must.. COS.. i'm jus so.. Haix.. dotx dotx..dotx..

Must be wondering wht e hell i'm toking abt.. Haiya.. Bloody long story.. here goes.. cos i tink i shld blog it down n remember tis 'memorable day'.. E day when i reali was fuming..

On tis beautiful day.. where i tot my friday will b jus as happy.. Or at least normal.. BUT.. it turn out not 2 b.. When.. sum1.. i shld not mention hu.. TOLD mi tt Sum1 (I'vE cursed.. freaking, nth better 2 do idoit or wht ever u call..) Paste a bloody sticker on my locker..WTF.. yeSH.. WHAT E FUCK.. Guess wht sticker is it? Vic zhou oF F4.. AT 1st.. i tot it's jus sum prank larx arx.. Could b sum1 walk pass then jus paste on ani locker.. 4 fun.. N i tot.. They were kind enuf 2 inform mi abt it.. so i can remove it.. N.. i tot tis has entirely nth 2 do wif Ya.. u noe rite?

Okie.. so i remove it.. I DID REMOVE N TORE IT AWAY N SWEAR I THREW IT INTO E BIN.. Ho.. I tot my nitemares over.. So.. At tt time.. i was still on a beri (extremely) good mood.. n was still discussing ITAB n PACC..

IT'S NOT OVER..

When.. i was happy goin 2 e lab 4 pacc lab.. Mz told mi tt sum1 paste e sticker there again.. TIS TIME NOT ONE.. BUT TWO.. Now.. Although i dn haf an IQ of a genius.. BUT.. i'm certainly not as 2pid as bimbos.. when e same pple.. tell mi e same tink.. tt happen at e same place.. Can u assume tt the person n e unfortunately incidentS r not connected?

OF COS THEY R RELATED.. DUMB DUMB..

At 1st when i heard it.. i was generally.. a bit pissed.. I emphasize oN e WORds 'A BIT'.. SO.. i finish my PACC lab.. chop chop in 10 mins.. N storm down 2 where my locker is.. That's whERE i start 2 get really angry.. When i was 10 m away from my locker.. I can c a group of students Standing at where my bloody locker is situated at.. When i was 3m away from my locker.. I could perfectly c a few pple standing in frnt of my locker.. n pointing at e bloody stickers.. When i approach my locker.. GUESS wHT?? E BuncH of pple there luff.. While i ANGRILY tore out e hideous freaky tink.. n walk as fast as i could out of e scene.. WTF.. WTF.. WTF.. I was disappointed, embrassed, felt humulated, angry, n sumtink which i haf not felt 4 a long time.. Feeling giddy..

WHICH is a bad sign..

Tt means.. i must haf got to agitated n my low blood pressure is working up again.. Could b due 2 e fact tt i ate lunch at 11.. when i was agitated at 4.. All i could remember is e whole world spinning.. n definately.. i was in e worst mood ever.. I was beri upset.. extreme.. E joke has gone too far..

I prentend 2 b okie.. COs.. i need 2 b okie.. But when vedro said 'bye' 2 mi.. n wish mi merry x'mas.. I was fuming again.. N i just say 2 him.. 'i want a gd explanation from u guys..' in a beri harsh tone.. i noe i said sumtink in e front too.. but i can't rmb le.. I walk off wif jean n benzy 2 daiko.. Not carry abt mz.. As i was fuming wif him 2..

Along e way there.. i tot i literally will jus walk half way n faint.. But i guess.. I can't.. cOs.. no1 will save mi..sO i kinda bear wif it larx.. N i tot sum food will do mi gd.. SO.. i went 2 grab a bite at fc3.. benzy ordered sandwich 4 mi.. n we haf 2 wait.. while waiting.. Benzy told mi tt vedro's angry..

SO i call him up.. indeed he is.. N so i apologize 4 my rudeness then.. Sorry Vedro..
I noe i shld not haf been rude 2 u.. But.. tis incident.. do u tink u will at least haf 2 bear a bit of responsibility from it? Cos.. if u haf stop U-noe-hu.. will it haf 2 end up tis way.. But i'm not blaming u larx.. SERIOUSLY.. COs..u r not e main culprit.. guys JUST WANTED 2 have fun...

N.. after e talk 2 vedro.. he refuse 2 say hu.. But i noe hu le.. It's obvious.. N.. tt cos mi 2 b more disappointed then ever.. How could u do tis.. N i b4 daiko starts.. u got more than enuf time 2 apologise.. or even say sth.. U did'nt.. Shld i say u were scared or u refuse 2.. or u felt u were not wrong..

I can't even swallow my sandwich.. I need 2 calm down.. i so wanted 2 cry.. BUT definately not in front of e daiko gang.. SO.. i went out 2 take a breather.. Where i felt my eyes go wet.. n i literally cried.. After crying.. i felt so much better.. N.. By common sense.. i shld b still angry wif e main culprit rite.. But.. in e end i still decided not 2 b angry wif him..EVEN THOUGH HE DID'NT APOLOGISE 2 MI FIRST.. Tt's y i need 2 b slapped... Aniway.. i went back 2 e room.. Hiding my feeling.. Told myslf i'm going 2 swallow down my unhappiness while i ate tt patheitc sandwich.. N so i did..

He still did'nt say anitink.. SO.. When we haf a water break.. i ask him loudly.. Hu is e 1 hu did it.. I wan him 2 admit it.. LUCKILY.. at least he admit.. Or else.. i'll get sum1 not 2 onli slap mi.. but jus slaughter mi.. N.. seriously larx.. I'm not being scarastic or wht.. or 2 act as if nth is wrong in frnt of him jus now n kao pei now in my blog.. it's reali wht i felt then.. but i jus did'nt say or show out.. Although he did apologise.. It was erm.. u call it.. unsincere larx.. N.. furthurmore.. i was reali surprise at tis part of e conversation..

"... Imagine if u were in my shoe.. wht were u feel?"

"... i wun b angry.. COs i wun care.."

i could onli vaguely remember i say sth lyk tt..

" ya.. u dn care.. bUt tt doesn't mean other pple is lyk u n dn care.. "

E rest of e conversation.. i can hardly rmb also.. but.. When will u learn 2 care 4 others? to care 4 their feelings.. 2 cherish wht u haf now? i noe.. all these r beri powerful n hurting words.. But u noe.. it's not e embrassment i gone thru tt hurt mi.. it's when u say all these stuff.. sO.. when u did tt.. haf u tot abt how i felt? How i will react.. I dn tink so rite.. Or i shld say definately not.. if u tink abt mi as how i always put all my friends 1st.. even more impt then myslf.. i guess today's incident will never occur.. Can i imagine how it tinks it's funny 2 play tt prank on u.. 2 u.. "it's jus a harmless prank larx.."

Maybe if he is reading my blog now.. he may tink tt.. "omg.. y tt xuehui so cannot joke wan.. a little bit also angry.." Mayb all of u reading may tink so 2.. SO b it bah.. If u noe e reali mi.. u noe where my limit stands.. i onli admit i was wrong 2 b rude 2 vedro.. e rest.. shld sum1 takes up e responsibilty tt it's wrong to do tt?

My tots r reali in a mess now.. n i noe i felt 4 a lot of stuff.. but i can't seem 2 write them all down.. After tt.. Playing daiko 4 once reali cheer mi up.. Not a bIt.. A LOT.. i reali enjoy myslf.. n was almost back 2 normal.. I guess.. not even a single soul realise tt snow is now red.. instead of white..

I read fel's blog.. n i felt shallow once more.. i felt as if i fell into a 100m deep hole.. n i can't c a single tink up.. it's so dark.. i can't climb out.. neither can i move.. I'm so stuck.. so loss.. so frightening.. I dnnoe wht 2 do animore.. I noe.. he gifs mi a slightly better attitude to mi 2day.. isit bcos he's guility n wans 2 made up 4 it? Or isit if he treats mi better 4 a while he will feel better.. Or he felt tt tis is e onli tink he can do 2 serve as a form of apology..

To heal a wound.. is not easy.. esp when it's so cruelly cut n leave u wif a deep wound..

Why isit always mi hu haf 2 bow down 2 u.. Ya.. i noe... pple can jus shoot back.. but no1 forces u 2 wht.. But if i gif u choose.. u choose not 2 bow down 1st n then friendship bcums strain n more strain.. u bow down then tinks could change better.. WHICH will u choose?

4 all i noe.. he mayb slping peacefully at home.. wifout feeling guilty.. while if it's mi.. i'll b so remorse 4 e whole nite if i did do sumtink tt cos sum1 2 b upset..

I badly need sum1 2 hug mi 2 tell mi.. "hey ger.. everytink is okie de.. Dn worry.. u still have mi..i jus need his/her shoulder 2 let mi cry lyk mad 4 a moment.. " Cos i reali cannot take it animore.. I'm always e 1 gifing in.. Bcos of trying 2 change to bcome less emotions.. i've learn 2 keep everytink 2 urslf.. When u keep building up.. n haf no place 2 release every single unhappiness.. u will jus lost ur world.. u will jus suffocate..

Take it as i'm pathetic.. i'm pleading u.. Dn torture mi animore.. U dnnoe how it's lyk 2 b pushed by u n fell flat on e floor when u jus regain ur balance.. U dnnoe how much i jus wish 4 u 2 treat mi better..U jus dn..

Seriously.. Slap mi.. i ask Benzy 2 do it on mi... n he agree he must.. COS.. i'm jus so.. Haix.. dotx dotx..dotx..

Must be wondering wht e hell i'm toking abt.. Haiya.. Bloody long story.. here goes.. cos i tink i shld blog it down n remember tis 'memorable day'.. E day when i reali was fuming..

On tis beautiful day.. where i tot my friday will b jus as happy.. Or at least normal.. BUT.. it turn out not 2 b.. When.. sum1.. i shld not mention hu.. TOLD mi tt Sum1 (I'vE cursed.. freaking, nth better 2 do idoit or wht ever u call..) Paste a bloody sticker on my locker..WTF.. yeSH.. WHAT E FUCK.. Guess wht sticker is it? Vic zhou oF F4.. AT 1st.. i tot it's jus sum prank larx arx.. Could b sum1 walk pass then jus paste on ani locker.. 4 fun.. N i tot.. They were kind enuf 2 inform mi abt it.. so i can remove it.. N.. i tot tis has entirely nth 2 do wif Ya.. u noe rite?

Okie.. so i remove it.. I DID REMOVE N TORE IT AWAY N SWEAR I THREW IT INTO E BIN.. Ho.. I tot my nitemares over.. So.. At tt time.. i was still on a beri (extremely) good mood.. n was still discussing ITAB n PACC..

IT'S NOT OVER..

When.. i was happy goin 2 e lab 4 pacc lab.. Mz told mi tt sum1 paste e sticker there again.. TIS TIME NOT ONE.. BUT TWO.. Now.. Although i dn haf an IQ of a genius.. BUT.. i'm certainly not as 2pid as bimbos.. when e same pple.. tell mi e same tink.. tt happen at e same place.. Can u assume tt the person n e unfortunately incidentS r not connected?

OF COS THEY R RELATED.. DUMB DUMB..

At 1st when i heard it.. i was generally.. a bit pissed.. I emphasize oN e WORds 'A BIT'.. SO.. i finish my PACC lab.. chop chop in 10 mins.. N storm down 2 where my locker is.. That's whERE i start 2 get really angry.. When i was 10 m away from my locker.. I can c a group of students Standing at where my bloody locker is situated at.. When i was 3m away from my locker.. I could perfectly c a few pple standing in frnt of my locker.. n pointing at e bloody stickers.. When i approach my locker.. GUESS wHT?? E BuncH of pple there luff.. While i ANGRILY tore out e hideous freaky tink.. n walk as fast as i could out of e scene.. WTF.. WTF.. WTF.. I was disappointed, embrassed, felt humulated, angry, n sumtink which i haf not felt 4 a long time.. Feeling giddy..

WHICH is a bad sign..

Tt means.. i must haf got to agitated n my low blood pressure is working up again.. Could b due 2 e fact tt i ate lunch at 11.. when i was agitated at 4.. All i could remember is e whole world spinning.. n definately.. i was in e worst mood ever.. I was beri upset.. extreme.. E joke has gone too far..

I prentend 2 b okie.. COs.. i need 2 b okie.. But when vedro said 'bye' 2 mi.. n wish mi merry x'mas.. I was fuming again.. N i just say 2 him.. 'i want a gd explanation from u guys..' in a beri harsh tone.. i noe i said sumtink in e front too.. but i can't rmb le.. I walk off wif jean n benzy 2 daiko.. Not carry abt mz.. As i was fuming wif him 2..

Along e way there.. i tot i literally will jus walk half way n faint.. But i guess.. I can't.. cOs.. no1 will save mi..sO i kinda bear wif it larx.. N i tot sum food will do mi gd.. SO.. i went 2 grab a bite at fc3.. benzy ordered sandwich 4 mi.. n we haf 2 wait.. while waiting.. Benzy told mi tt vedro's angry..

SO i call him up.. indeed he is.. N so i apologize 4 my rudeness then.. Sorry Vedro..
I noe i shld not haf been rude 2 u.. But.. tis incident.. do u tink u will at least haf 2 bear a bit of responsibility from it? Cos.. if u haf stop U-noe-hu.. will it haf 2 end up tis way.. But i'm not blaming u larx.. SERIOUSLY.. COs..u r not e main culprit.. guys JUST WANTED 2 have fun...

N.. after e talk 2 vedro.. he refuse 2 say hu.. But i noe hu le.. It's obvious.. N.. tt cos mi 2 b more disappointed then ever.. How could u do tis.. N i b4 daiko starts.. u got more than enuf time 2 apologise.. or even say sth.. U did'nt.. Shld i say u were scared or u refuse 2.. or u felt u were not wrong..

I can't even swallow my sandwich.. I need 2 calm down.. i so wanted 2 cry.. BUT definately not in front of e daiko gang.. SO.. i went out 2 take a breather.. Where i felt my eyes go wet.. n i literally cried.. After crying.. i felt so much better.. N.. By common sense.. i shld b still angry wif e main culprit rite.. But.. in e end i still decided not 2 b angry wif him..EVEN THOUGH HE DID'NT APOLOGISE 2 MI FIRST.. Tt's y i need 2 b slapped... Aniway.. i went back 2 e room.. Hiding my feeling.. Told myslf i'm going 2 swallow down my unhappiness while i ate tt patheitc sandwich.. N so i did..

He still did'nt say anitink.. SO.. When we haf a water break.. i ask him loudly.. Hu is e 1 hu did it.. I wan him 2 admit it.. LUCKILY.. at least he admit.. Or else.. i'll get sum1 not 2 onli slap mi.. but jus slaughter mi.. N.. seriously larx.. I'm not being scarastic or wht.. or 2 act as if nth is wrong in frnt of him jus now n kao pei now in my blog.. it's reali wht i felt then.. but i jus did'nt say or show out.. Although he did apologise.. It was erm.. u call it.. unsincere larx.. N.. furthurmore.. i was reali surprise at tis part of e conversation..

"... Imagine if u were in my shoe.. wht were u feel?"

"... i wun b angry.. COs i wun care.."

i could onli vaguely remember i say sth lyk tt..

" ya.. u dn care.. bUt tt doesn't mean other pple is lyk u n dn care.. "

E rest of e conversation.. i can hardly rmb also.. but.. When will u learn 2 care 4 others? to care 4 their feelings.. 2 cherish wht u haf now? i noe.. all these r beri powerful n hurting words.. But u noe.. it's not e embrassment i gone thru tt hurt mi.. it's when u say all these stuff.. sO.. when u did tt.. haf u tot abt how i felt? How i will react.. I dn tink so rite.. Or i shld say definately not.. if u tink abt mi as how i always put all my friends 1st.. even more impt then myslf.. i guess today's incident will never occur.. Can i imagine how it tinks it's funny 2 play tt prank on u.. 2 u.. "it's jus a harmless prank larx.."

Maybe if he is reading my blog now.. he may tink tt.. "omg.. y tt xuehui so cannot joke wan.. a little bit also angry.." Mayb all of u reading may tink so 2.. SO b it bah.. If u noe e reali mi.. u noe where my limit stands.. i onli admit i was wrong 2 b rude 2 vedro.. e rest.. shld sum1 takes up e responsibilty tt it's wrong to do tt?

My tots r reali in a mess now.. n i noe i felt 4 a lot of stuff.. but i can't seem 2 write them all down.. After tt.. Playing daiko 4 once reali cheer mi up.. Not a bIt.. A LOT.. i reali enjoy myslf.. n was almost back 2 normal.. I guess.. not even a single soul realise tt snow is now red.. instead of white..

I read fel's blog.. n i felt shallow once more.. i felt as if i fell into a 100m deep hole.. n i can't c a single tink up.. it's so dark.. i can't climb out.. neither can i move.. I'm so stuck.. so loss.. so frightening.. I dnnoe wht 2 do animore.. I noe.. he gifs mi a slightly better attitude to mi 2day.. isit bcos he's guility n wans 2 made up 4 it? Or isit if he treats mi better 4 a while he will feel better.. Or he felt tt tis is e onli tink he can do 2 serve as a form of apology..

To heal a wound.. is not easy.. esp when it's so cruelly cut n leave u wif a deep wound..

Why isit always mi hu haf 2 bow down 2 u.. Ya.. i noe... pple can jus shoot back.. but no1 forces u 2 wht.. But if i gif u choose.. u choose not 2 bow down 1st n then friendship bcums strain n more strain.. u bow down then tinks could change better.. WHICH will u choose?

4 all i noe.. he mayb slping peacefully at home.. wifout feeling guilty.. while if it's mi.. i'll b so remorse 4 e whole nite if i did do sumtink tt cos sum1 2 b upset..

I badly need sum1 2 hug mi 2 tell mi.. "hey ger.. everytink is okie de.. Dn worry.. u still have mi..i jus need his/her shoulder 2 let mi cry lyk mad 4 a moment.. " Cos i reali cannot take it animore.. I'm always e 1 gifing in.. Bcos of trying 2 change to bcome less emotions.. i've learn 2 keep everytink 2 urslf.. When u keep building up.. n haf no place 2 release every single unhappiness.. u will jus lost ur world.. u will jus suffocate..

Take it as i'm pathetic.. i'm pleading u.. Dn torture mi animore.. U dnnoe how it's lyk 2 b pushed by u n fell flat on e floor when u jus regain ur balance.. U dnnoe how much i jus wish 4 u 2 treat mi better..U jus dn..

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