Okie.. sO tis is how the tea looks lyk.. It's green.. then when u 1st drink tt stuff down.. u got tt kind of taste.. Hmm let mi c how 2 describe it.. Chinese u will say 'se'.. It's lyk dry dry 1 but got an element of bitter lyk tt.. Hmm.. Hard 2 desribe.. Aniway.. U mus eat the cake wif it.. Cos the cake is super sweet n super nice.. So when 2 mix 2gether.. e taste is reali FABULOUS.. no words can describe it.. E over white cake is geraldine's!!

Mine n fernando's cake is lyk tt when u open tt up.. Ours is lyk super hard.. while ger's is soft n has some filling inside.. COOl..=)

After tt tea session.. WE went to the next activity.. which was japanese dolls making.. (SObx.. 4got 2 take pictures of the paper dolls we make..) There's a beri nice instructor 2 teach us how 2 do.. they provided us wif the material.. the steps r fairly easy.. n dodo birds r beri noisy when thy do crafts.. dotx.. mi n ger feel lyk smacking him on e head 2 make him faint.. keep saying wht's next.. when other pple haven finish though the 3 of us had... haha.. our dolls reali not tt nice larx.. but it's the process tt's fun.. WE reali luff n joke alot when we made those.. Then my bookmark paper actually dn haf hole to punch in.. sigh.. but the person gaf mi some reali nice craft paper 2 decorate the border.. SO nice of her.. =)

Then.. while the session was goin on down stage.. Up on stage were NUS students in some jap club teach pple how 2 wear kimono.. haha.. i always wanted to try.. Nt 2 say i bHb.. but cos i beri fair then pple always say if i wear will look lyk japanese de.. Here's e chance 4 mi 2 try.. y not.. so when they wan volunteers.. i'm e 1st 2 go.. SO here comes mi..

They were half way thru the process liaox.. tis is e most difficult part.. they have to tie 2 strings/ ropes or sash or whtever u call ti arounf my waist to tighten it.. WOh.. u can reali c they reali go into ur waist... makes u a bit hard 2 breathe.. jus a bit..

They were still at the string tink.. cos it's the most impt part.. Ya.. there's 2 pple hu have to do it 4 mi.. haha.. (N p.s.. Was it mi or wht.. Did i open my eyes??)

Almost done wif the string tink..

Finally done with it.. HAha.. Now it's time to adjust my costume b4 the most they can put the cloth to tie the ribbon.. (Oh.. i realise i look awful wif kimono.. It jus does'nt match..=x..)

Okie.. so tt's when everytink is done.. they have to tie the ribbon behind with tt sach.. Haha.. They r still tightening it urGh.. but the whole tink shld jus turn out tt i have straight waist.. Serious..

Almost done..=) (It's mi alright.. lack of slp is making my eyes even smaller then ever!!)

DonE!! N there's 1 possiblity tt cos e camera is 2 far.. so it's blur.. so even if my eyes open up, also look lyk closed.. haha.. LOL..

Front view!!

Back view!!

Woh.. i have enuf of uploading of pic.. Tt's it 4 e nite.. Haha.. E rest will jus b words.. Haha.. after i finished tt.. It's almost time 4 e 2nd performance le.. BUt the rest r still not to be seen.. all went shopping le.. so we had to call them back.. guess they 4get e time themselves too.. Hmm.. so we wait 4 them 2 come back.. (LOL.. 2 bad they dn get 2 c mi wear tt.. =))

So we played the 2nd performance.. it was oki.. Then cannot keep playing le larx.. got lots of hw 2 do.. so haf 2 find a place to do.. so we tot of jus finding a cafe or sumtink 2 sit down n do work.. well.. ya.. e rest kinda 'abandon' us again.. so we jus walk walk then found Tcc.. then we went in there.. SOoner or later e whole daiko gang is there le.. But sadly.. we all seperated table s n go wif our own little gangs.. Erm.. giant came to join us.. WoW.. Wht can i say.. i dnnoe.. sumhow or another.. i sense disappoinment.. n i'm sure he never came to a cafe b4.. Or shld i say not often then.. Was suppose to work on my mob ppt.. But i kinda drifted off when we (benzy,fer,ger moo n mi n giant ofcos) went into a sort of debate on my CRS topic.. Haha.. i love debates man.. N it reali sumhow do prepare mi a bit of how e audience will react.. Haha.. By the time session ends..i achieve nth but get 2 noe a whole lot of pple better.. 2 Benzy: LOl.. Guys r bastards.. Hohoho.. jus joking larx.. Okie.. i shld say.. SOME guys r bastards.. u belong 2 e other grp.. not the bastards ones..=)

3rd performance was the best!! a lot of pple.. n i tink we played the best.. Haha.. got the atmosphere.. 2 jean: dn worry.. shi bai shi cheng gong zhi mu.. there's no major mistake make.. u will b more careful next time de.. haha.. so a day jus passed lyk tt.. n oh.. tt's tis super host at the venue.. then dnnoe say wht wasn us go mediacorp perform? Huh? how true can tt b?

Aniway.. we carried the drums back to the lorry after performance.. n it was going to rain.. WEll.. so the uncle covered up the both side wif canvas n left the back part open.. since it's jus drizzling.. guess wht.. 5 mins later.. it pour lyk nth.. UrGh.. 1st we felt wet.. so we got out the umbrella.. then we felt our head wet.. n our skin got e freezing senation when water hit us.. THen oh shit.. the 2pid roof it leaking water.. then all the drums dn haf cover.. SO we tot of using th costume to temp cover those drums skin 2st.. though not waterproof but better than nth.. B4 we covered the drums, the uncle suddenly jump out of the driving seat to close the back canvas 4 us. so gd of him.. but in the end we had to do tinks in darkness n haf 2 resort to hp lights.. haha..

Tell u.. it's 1 memorable event tt happen in daiko life.. Haha.. daiko rocks.. luckily.. when we rch sp.. it stop raining le.. So e 10 of us remaining..(mi, ger Jr, limin, jean. zm, jill, benzy, jing zhou, mz, aloy) had to carry 6 medium drums, 2 small drums, 1 big drum, 2 bags of sticks n costume, drum stands n all our bags n belonging, 2 big plastic bag of packed dinner.. By the time i finish pushing n carry everytink, i felt as if my bones were splitting n lyk no energy le.. haha..

Then the 2pud gate outside the clubhse was close.. have 2 wait 4 security 2 open 4 us.. dotx.. Then we had to push everytink in.. Drums skin were wet n i haf 2 wipe them.. After they settled down.. we settled down 2 shove down dinner.. around 20 packets of chao guo tiao.. OmG.. it's said 2 b not nice.. but i guess every1 hungry.. so everytink taste gd n edible bah.. jingzhou bcum mi n ger's rubbish bin.. take all our 'hum'.. LOL..

Found out tt mi n ger really beri alike.. hehe.. our tinking n habits all similar de.. =)

WEnt back hm.. Tried.. but satisfied..

Dotx.. so tired now.. can't take it le.. tt's it.. tis post took mi 2 hrs 2 write.. WOoT..

beri Beri tired le.. But i'll just blog while waiting 4 my song 2 complete dling..

Busy friday.. E whole day all so fully packed.. Got back pacc paper.. N i tink i'll quite heng to pass with the fact tt i can't finish tt bloody paper.. *n.. Can sum pple hu get lyk beri high marks stop looking at my paper as if it's lyk toilet paper.. N reframe from boasting.. Thank you so much.. U jus can't wait 2 c mi cry rite..*

Got daiko 2day.. Erm.. did nth much but jus play a few songs 4 2molo's performance.. Oh god..Tink i need to bring my ItP pre-departure report down liaox.. Cos i haven even started on translated.. UrgH.. n i can't find my chinese-English dictionary..

Went to find Ling after tt.. 1 word 2 say.. Love can make pple go bonkers.. A... They can do beri beri beri 2pid (or 2 them not 2pid) tinks.. Sigh.. Haha..

Yeah.. i'm so happy.. i got to talk 2 e person i wan tok 2... N p.s.. keep whtever we converse as a secret alrite? =) Felt so much better after i say out..

Reali got to go liaox.. haf 2 b in sch by 8.30 2molo.. n i tink dad wun b up so early.. or will he? hope so lorx.. or else i reali haf 2 wake u so so early..

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Friday, January 20, 2006

/ 12:39 PM

Happy 300th post!!!

i'm so glad i finally hit tt.. !! YeAH!!

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/ 12:38 PM

YeSH!!! Tis is my 299 posts.. So much of significance.. But i never noe 1 can b addicted to blogging.. Or worst.. it has now bcum my hobby.. my habit.. LOL..

2day is jus a normal sch day.. Wif an extraordinary tinge of mi 2 yrs ago.. COS it's open hse 2day.. I guess 2 yrs ago i'll b in those sec 4 kiddo's shoe going around poly 2 c wht course i reali wan 2 take..

I guess Sp has made e event reali big.. N there's lots of helpers around.. N SB has it's own open hse at hm ground as well.. So we saw lots of students in black polo tees..(WE're so damn 4tunate.. Other sch's Mus wear formal.. Our sch pple has specifically made polo tee jus 4 them.. Haha..) But cos i did'nt volunteer to help.. SO.. i dn haf the polo tee lorx.. haha..

Erm.. So there's ITAB presentation 2day.. I tot our website was quite a BANG.. Geex.. i mean.. compare to the rest of other pple's website larx.. WE mus grade each grp indivdually n then tt bcomes grp evaluation marks.. Dotx.. our ranking 4 other grps r all pretty close larx.. esp e 1st n 2nd place 1.. i tink onli a difference of 1 or 2 marks.. Haha.. then after ITAB got MOB..

Sat down at the lecture hall wif benzy playing bingo 4 e whole 1 hr.. DOTX.. How cum go up by 1 rank is palace maid de.. LOL.. then if he beats mi in it then i go back to square 1 again.. haha... Tian li he zai? haha..

Did'nt reali haf lunch cos went to finance department to get our 1k cheque.. Wtf.. can e receptionist b more courteous.. i mean i ask u nicely 4 e person in charge.. u dun need to roar in front of my face as if i step on ur tail bah.. Yuck.. the person in charge.. Lynn is beri beri friendly though.. haha..

Went to fc5 to eat... i mean angela, weixian n kexin eat.. never buy pasta at pizza hut.. i mean it's lyk so freaking long b4 they come.. N after tt we rush 4 econs tutorial.. We tot we late le.. but ms wang even later.. But the guys came even more later.. WOot.. imagine's ms wans's face.. Got back result le.. YeSH.. she did'nt lie 2 mi.. i was a bit shocked at the marks i got.. But when i calculated the marks i haf to strive 4 last exam.. I was a bit disappointed.. REALI.. COs.. jus 2 get 1 bloody B.. I haf 2 get lyk 80 n above 4 e last paper.. GOD.. how 2 get tt?? oh no... Reali..But i'll try..

After econs went to FC6 to do our mob presentation..UrGh.. i find being a scriptwriter damn hard.. it's beri beri hard lorx.. not easy at all.. We haf so mani scenes n now after i finished tis post.. mus start on the ppt le..

Went hm at abt 5.25p.m..Went to collect my contact lense solution.. Feel lyk changing a pair of specs to got frame 1..got tis green half frame.. n blue full frame looks gd on mi.. dnnoe larx..

Oh.. Thanx vedro 4 e choc.. =)

Haix.. I've been eating a lot lately.. Yesh.. signs of stress.. N i noe y i'm eating so much.. Gif it 1 more week then i'll haf less appretite le.. Tis is reali bad.. Later bcum fat again.. UrGH.. Mus control diet.. I mus..

Mus pay ITP deposit le.. So sick.. e moment i tot of it.. I keep hearing ling's words.. My heart is still half hearted.. But.. sobx.. Even if i stay.. Will it make a difference? it's e qn i ask myslf..

N i guess.. Banking option pple will split.. God.. dn 4get e bet i make wif u.. We'll c how u let tinks turn out 2 b.. u decide my fate sum how.. u noe mi well enuf..

I hate being in surviour game.. i'm sick of tis.. I dnnoe if somebody saw sumtink she shld'nt c.. I dnnoe if i should trust somebody wif sometink.. I dnnoe a lot of stuff.. N.. I'm a lot of somebodies have started to leave my life.. So b it.. jus go.. N i'm missing somebody enuf 2 make mi go nuts...

Shld start on my work now.. COs i still haf my pre departure report to translate n rewrite.. Sighx..

I reali wanna talk 2 u.. badly..

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Thursday, January 19, 2006

/ 3:45 PM

I'm bloody tired.. n i decided to blog.. cOs.. I jus tot of checking my mails..

In e end i discover sumtink tt brighten up my day.. =)
Although it's jus a small action.. but at least.. it reali did brighten up my day..

ERm.. Tinks r trying to b fixed.. Yesh.. trying beri hard..jus glad tt barrier is slowly trying to lossen up.. i guess so.. N i realise a bit more tinks 2day.. Credits to yy.. I guess.. Wht u say is rite after all.. But the tink is... Am i able to grab hold of myslf b4 i fall?

Tired le.. Haven done pre-departure report in Chinese.. need to pay deposit 4 e trip le.. Got the feeling of dn feel lyk goin.. haven do e plot 4 mob presentation.. 2molo got ITAB presentation.. N last of all!! getting back econs result.. U reap wht u grow.. I've put in quite an amount of fertiliser on plant economics.. n i wht it 2 grow.. so tt i can sell it..

Okie.. lack of slp is making mi ding dong.. i better go.. N trust mi.. My slp 2nite will b much better than the rest of the days..

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/ 3:27 PM

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:"Husband Wanted"
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:"You can have mine."

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."

A young son asked, "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."

Then there was a woman who said,"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then,it was too late."

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."

A Woman's Prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man , to love and to forgive him, and for Patience, for his moods. Because, Lor d, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death.

AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the hell up."

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Wednesday, January 18, 2006

/ 1:45 PM

Feeling beri frustrated now.. Or more or less restless..

Erm.. Actually got 1 whole list of tinks waiting 4 mi 2 complete them.. but i'm so utterly lost on which 1 shld i begin 1st.. dOTx.. shld blog 1st.. tinks tt can b blog here.. i'll blog here.. those tinks tt cannot b blog here.. i'll blog sum where else bah.. n i got the perfect spot 4 it..

Aniway.. let mi crap a bit.. i caught the channel 8 2 p.m show.. the show on joey rong de.. Haha.. so funny.. wht a coincidence tt it's on plastic surgery.. Cos tis joey rong rite.. she act as sum1 hu is beri ugly n fat.. then bcos of her looks.. She never get promotions and she got ditched by her bf as he went out wif her best frend..Worst of all, she discover tt her real mum is also as ugly as her n e current family is not her real flesh n blood 1.. she's beri kind, n yet.. her boss is so sucky to her n make her quit to take up a blame she's being framed of..Everyone just told her in her face tt she's fat n ugly..

SO.. she went to do plastic surgery and there was implication in it.. She went into a coma after the operation.. Then they show e part where she turn into an angel n she debated wif god to let her go back.. LOL.. so funny lorx.. tt part.. best debator man.. obviously.. wif all the nagging n shouting n everytink.. (tink god also sick of hearing her) they let her go back on 1 condition, she will haf 2 do 1 gd deed tt is being given to her.. Never stated wht.. she agreed n she woke up.. Which 1 mth has already pass.. cOs she in coma 4 a mth.. she lost all her fats.. n bcome super slim.. N she also become beri pretty le..

BEst part of 2nite's episode.. Guess wht's e gd deed she mus do? She mus help tt sucky boss tt spit in her face tt she's ugly, tt sucky boss whom she did CPR on, tt sucky boss hu purposely framed her 4 sumtink she did'nt do n so as to make her quit 2 find a wife in 3 mths.. WHooPinG..

Okie larx.. e show is alrite.. but it seriously reflect how our society are.. I mean.. Not every1 is born pretty de.. Wht defines tt word? some1 may tink i'm pretty.. while some will tink i'm not.. SO where's e line to judge?? Okie.. i shld'nt go into tt.. or else i will never end..

i guess missing sum1 in ur heart is part of life.. Reali wan to tok 2 him.. but i dare not contact him.. 4 e fear of him finding mi irritating.. n we both r pretty busy wif work.. Hmm.. i dnnoe.. mayb i shld keep all these in mi tt's all.. aniway.. no1 will reali understand how i felt.. Serious..

sianx.. 2molo got work.. Urgh.. n i'm still tinking if i shld work on my China pre-departure report.. Sobx.. i dnnoe y.. i reali yearn to stay here now..

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/ 8:43 AM

Okie.. long over due post.. mus continue on the nite i stay over at daiko room..

So.. i stop at tt freaking incident.. haha.. So funny.. now come to tink of tt.. Y can't i just get over my own phobia..Dotx.. being afraid of tinks i dn even noe if they exist.. after tt.. Chit chat summore wif yh n mz outside the room.. cos e rest r mopping the room so tt it's clean enuf to b slp on.. SO.. since we washed our feet le.. we just stood outside waiting.. N they tok abt the supernatural topic.. both of them also came from boys sch n according to them.. boys sch has a lot of this kind of stuff.. cos e land they build the sch on were once cementry or sth.. Dotx.. I guess it's pretty true..

After e mopping is done.. we went in.. n continue to chat n slack on the chair.. i was feeling a bit sianx liaox.. n keep working in n out of the room.. n i stomach was lyk churning in the middle of the nite.. make mi feel lyk voimiting.. Tink at tt time arn 12+ 1 le bah.. Benzy came wif the the take away food the daiko gang ordered.. perhaps at tt time, the way i said a sentence was'nt in the rite tone.. n i cld vividly rmb sum1 trying to defend another on mi.. Wtf..i was jus joking.. n if the person tot tt i was just trying to b plain rude.. so b it.. i actually respect the person hu defended the other a lot.. but now.. i actually seem to tink tt the person has sum opinion on.. i dnnoe y e person has tt.. But i jus felt tt way.. n of cos.. i hope it was jus a misunderstanding.. cos if tis is e real tink.. HELLO-.-

Okie.. continuing.. Since it has pass 1 a.m.. i tink every1 was hungry larx.. But i did'nt touch a single bit.. Cos i jus had no appretite.. Urgh.. n esp after tt.. ERm.. Let mi recall arx.. wht happened after tt.. ERm..jill, jean, benzy n zimin went to catch a movie.. memoirs of a geisha.. n all i remember is.. geradline say wan go bathe anot.. n so mi, sharon, geradline n limin went to the sport hall there to bathe.. wif the escots of mz, yh n fer.. Sp showerrooms r infested with cockroaches.. every cubicle at least haf 1.. n brave geradline dare to catch them.. n mi.. erm.. i tink i scream more n jump more.. *So ashamed.. haha..* the guys help a little.. but.. dnnoe hu still let 1 loose.. make all of us bathe also cannot bathe in peace.. lol..

Mi n sharon were the 1st few to finished..the water is lyk super cold.. imagine tt i took a cold bath in the middle of the nite.. n bloody mz n fer keep trying to use cockroaches to scared mi.. N DN EVER lock mi in a toilet.. summore a male 1.. wah liaox.. by the time we went back.. it was lyk going 3 le.. Everyone was feeling tired le.. n all took out slping bags to lie on the floor to slp.. i did'nt brought mine.. so i had to use the club house 1.. In the end they open up the bags so i jus had to make myslf comfortable wif whtever space i haf..

E rest slept le.. Left mi n limin.. Headache over the costume 4 performance e next day.. then i go slp le she still haven slp.. Okie.. the slping bag i slept on got a weird smell.. i dnnoe wht smell is it.. n i dn wan to noe y it got tt smell.. aniway.. cld really slp.. keep waking up.. e room was simply too cold.. N e moment i open my eyes i saw the sight i dreamt of everynite.. So how cld i slp properly? N there were pple hu snore in the room.. Beri hard to slp when there's noise pollution.. sO.. haha.. i jus lie on the slping bag.. trying beri hard to slp.. but i guess i ended up staring at the person on my rite..cos e left was snoring.. N tt person looks beri cute when he's sleeping..(erm..he say he did'nt slp larx.. so.. wht can i say? ) N.. Okie.. i shld'nt mention here.. Haha.. I tink i feel alslp at arn 3.40 lyk tt.. N barely 4.15 i woke up le.. Cos it was really too cold le.. U noe how i haf to cover myslf wif my windbreaker from head to toe? i lyk slp in the position of a cat okie.. all curl up lyk a ball then my face right into my pillow(okie.. my bag).. n trying to get rid of the cold lyk tt.. Dotx..

Luckily.. limin off the aircon..(i mean.. i dnnoe y i did'nt tink of tt..) N i manage to fall fall alslp at intervals before i woke up when my alarm rings.. Dotx.. Onli mi n fer manage to wake up.. I tried calling pple to wake up.. in e end.. i got cold water pour over my head.. so undeserving.. LOL.. Moral of the story.. never call sum1 up unless u r positive he/ she will wake up immediately once u call the person.. So mi n fer head off to the sports complex there to wash up.. Okie.. band pple r mad pple alrite.. they play all nite.. N they can still make a lot of noise in the bath rooms.. dOtx.. they got unlimited supply of energy?? Haha..

Went back to clear up.. pack stuff.. n had to get ready 2 push all the drums to e loading area n off to clarke quay..

Clarke Quay..

I mean.. i was sitting on the lorry wondering.. God really noes how to torture pple.. I dn mean i hate tt place now.. But.. how can he let mi face the memories i got 2 weeks ago.. so i start to wear off abit.. but i guess i still haf to face it..

E riverraft race is kinda fun..n yesh.. cing pple row their raft to the finishing line was great.. but when u c other pple's raft sinking half way.. it's hilarious.. Then beri soon.. e guest of honour arrived le.. N i got another incident tt happen there tt i dn wanna say here.. N e feeling was so sucky.. i did nth wrong.. so dn yell at mi as if i was blocking u.. N.. i never haf ani bad intention.. all i wanna do was to get my stuff.. Fu*k..

E morning just kinda drifted lyk tt.. it was fun to play.. n there were also kids hu were so keen in playing our drums tt they took e sticks to play on them during our interval.. LOL.. 2 b in charge of costume is lyk.. err.. okie.. i lack of exprience.. hope to do e job better next time..

I tot abt it 4 a long time.. actually dn wan to blog it down.. but bcos i'm mi.. i shld blog it.. I was pretty stun by the way u tok 2 mi then.. i mean.. i did nth wrong.. it's not my fault.. n u snd as though it's my fault.. n i did'nt place u there in fact.. u dn need to be so fierce wif mi rite.. n i doubt u even noe i was unhappy until i tok 2 u rite.. N it's always mi approaching u 1st.. y mus sum1 approach u le then u clarify? haix.. i dnnoe.. but at least i felt better i've tok 2 u..N i tink.. u mus reali haf ur slp.. cos when u dn slp.. can c ur temper limit is close to zero..

After performance.. at abt 1.. took e lorry back n help carry all the drums back to the room.. Was reali drain out le.. After packing up a bit.. n tok a bit.. then took the train back wif fer n mz.. Pls larx.. dn rub salt into my wound le.. dn keep telling mi abt e opportunity cost i'm taking when i chose to go China.. i reali dn feel lyk going now at my current situation.. n even ling is telling mi not to go..

Went hm.. ate.. bathe.. read a chpt of the book.. n fell alslp le..
woke up at 8.30 at nite.. then studied stats.. i mean read thru.. then blog then slp..
Phew.. finally done..

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/ 7:58 AM

Current location.. Biz library..

Admit tt.. yesh.. im going to go back to geeky times.. Wth.. yesh.. alone in the library printing n printing stuff..

Haha.. got a feeling tt i'm going back to my sec1 times.. (difference: At least i'm more presentable now) true to say.. actually a life of a loner has it good n bad side... but if u look on the bright side.. good side will be better than the bad ones..

Onli came for stats tutorial 2day.. n lucky mi.. econs lecture got cancel.. so i miss onli pacc..which i tink i can manage.. n haha.. i help my mum won a 100 buck on the scratch card.. WooT.. i'm lucky these few days.. God says.. when u lose sumtinks.. u will gain sumtinks.. i understand totally.. sum tinks r lost n he gaf mi luck to make mi feel better.. Hehe.. did'nt tok much as i'm still feeling unwell.. n i tink there's no pt in mi toking.. lyk i say.. sumtinks cannot be stick back even wif super glue.. i mean.. i haf done wht i shld haf done le.. i apologise also apologise le.. but there's an obstacle there 4 all of us to go thru b4 we can get back to our old lives.. Mayb it's my heart tt's doing the wrecking.. hu noes..

So.. 4 e 1st time in my life.. i was so attentive during ping kong's class.. haha.. n i realise.. Actually stats isin't really tt hard.. u jus need to understand n practise.. cos it's so maths.. haha.. so 4 e 1st time.. i manage to do the qns.. mayb cos ANOVA is simple..

N i also realise.. Competition is really tense now.. Sometinks may not seem as simple as they b..

when people r refer to villians.. they may actually be in fact the honest ones.. n those pple hu refer pple as villians r actually e villians themselves.. tis is the world of survivor.. the fittest survive.. the rest all become loser.. So all along.. i tink i'm rite to trust hu i wan to trust.. tell hu i wan to tell.. c thru tinks i wan to c.. Avoid tinks i dn wan to face..

Since i did'nt put in my 101% into studying stats... so.. i deserve the marks i get.. Plus 'wo xin zhi wu kui'.. so.. i did'nt feel upse neither happy.. realise tt my B is so far away now.. unless i do super well 4 my end of yr.. Which means i must at least at an A to have a B.. WTF.. But let mi swear.. Even if i dn slp everyday.. i'm so goin to swallow down all my books..

I just want to be my own winner.. I wan to satisfy my own expectation.. N i got 1 still got 1 more wish or rather i say mission.. i feel lyk gifing sum1 else a pull.. But will the person allow mi 2.. it's up 2 e person le.. I'm jus going to try my best..

Stats ended 1/2 earlier..(as usual.. nth special larx.. Highest record is 1 n a 1/2 hr earlier.. WooT..) n they (angela, wx n yy) say wan to go find george to know IDEAS marks.. I got a feeling we will either get a B or a C.. choose 1.. Haha.. i dnnoe how accurate tt is.. but i wan e A.. (hmm.. expectation a bit to high rite..Nvm.. let mi dream.. ) n i can understand y pple r anxious.. cos when hard work is being put in.. n they dn get e marks they expect.. they r so goin to b disappointed.. n by my pt of view.. pple r going to go crazy.. gif up on Ca4 Or rather work even harder.. n they will put my head on the chopping board.. LOl..

But.. George was'nt in.. n we saw vedro n gang(Erm.. e usual gang larx..did'nt reali notice hu's not there larx..) along the corridor.. then they wanted to go find ms wang.. N demand 4 marks.. Obviously.. she did'nt gif it 2 them.. N they were pretty rude to barge in larx.. N i just went in to b part of the fun.. Since she wun gif it to them.. went to washroom then Came out n saw no1 le.. so i tot i will drop by ms wang's room to chit-chat a bit.. Well.. considering the fact tt she's a wonderful teacher n she reali treat mi beri beri well n we r quite close.. i got enuf information to make mi smile till thursday.. Haha.. ' tian zi bu ke xie lou..' tt's all i can say.. N it was nice chatting wif her.. N she's reali slogging to get all the papers marked..

After tt went to haf lunch..n 1 chesse sauage..(okie.. i'm guilty of spending unnessary $ when i shld save it..) urGh.. then hit the library le lorx..Dnnoe lehx.. shld i stay in the library to finish work i need to finish... or just go hm?

Finish blogging then decide bah.. since library closes at 6.. But i'll leave early... cos i wan go collect my lenses... n it's raining super heavily when i came into the library.. Lol..

Last leg of the race le... i'm going to be truthfully more hardworking.. Cos.. it's not a gd feeling to c other pple progressing while i'm still stuck here.. n i noe if i get 1 more D.. my mum is so going to kill mi.. Geex.. N hopefully i can complete my mission.. Tt will be the best tink i've ever done.. =)

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Tuesday, January 17, 2006

/ 6:48 PM

I'm finally done wif MOB.. n i'm so mentally n physically drain.. n i feel feverish..

So i tink i'm jus goin to slp.. n skip classes 2molo.. mayb goin 4 stats..

I mean.. i dn haf 2 mani days 2 c him everyday le.. n furthurmore.. my absents 4 stats tutorial is running out.. Haix..

when tinks starts tearing abt.. mayb even superglue also can't glue anitink back.. i'm ready to go back to where i belong.. where i begin.. Or mayb even to the time where i dn own anitink.. Tt's it..

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/ 2:40 PM

I shld b working on MOB now.. But i tink i need to blog tis.. (i've been considering if i shld blog it here.. Aniway.. i shld..)

I'm sorrie.. 3 powerless words tt can do nth 2 save anitink ald now.. 4 once in my entire life i felt i had not put enuf effort 4 sumtink i shld haf.. Not trying to push blames.. but perhaps at tt moment.. at tt time.. i shld haf jus hold on to whtever i shld do n not let them do it.. or rather not allowing them to help mi do it..i felt guilty when i saw tinks i shld not haf see.. i mean.. whtelse can i say..nth can b done to undo the results.. (let god fail my stats 2 return every favour done alrite..) but i guess the onli tink i can do now is to use the last chance to pay back..n i tink.. if it still wun satisfied anger n everytink.. I onli had one tink u all can take.. my life..

Okie..Since i lack of slp.. i was'nt in the best mood n i was'nt feeling to gd physically also.. e last tink i need was cold shoulders.. n a bucket of water over my head.. Which i tink i got it.. Well.. i'm not tt dumb larx.. though i'm not reali bright.. So i spent my day 2day drifting.. up 2 e part after IDEAs then i felt a bit better.. n a bit more cheery..

Now i begin to tink.. if god is making my wish come true.. Oh how nice it is.. Hu 2 blame? no1.. i chose e path myslf.. N so i'll b tt man.. 1 life 4 another.. 1 happy ending, 1 transform back to the future.. Oh how nice!..

Enuf le.. jus wan to bring my apologise here.. after i finish MOB then i'll come back to blog.. N if i can't wake up 2molo.. then so b it.. Aniway.. i'm jus nothing.. I'm jus a despicable fellow..

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Monday, January 16, 2006

/ 4:32 PM

I noe.. it's a bit late to blog now.. cos.. it's already midnite.. n i haf 8 o'clock tutorial 2molo.. but i can't really fall alslp yet.. though i onli slp 4 arn 3+ hrs onli since i came back.. but i'm lyk super awake now.. hopefully as i blog.. i'll get slpy.. then i'll stop then slp..

These few days r lyk so shit lorx.. so slp deprived.. make my mood n everytink go hay-wire.. LOl.. E day b4 onli slp 4 3+ hrs.. then had to wake up early in e morning(7 am) so as to make it 2 sch by 8.45.. Dotx.. in e end.. as usual.. i (or shld i say my limbs) Refuse to get up.. n so.. i'll b late if i take the train.. Luckily.. dad drove mi there.. n i reach sch even earlier..(cos sat no traffic at express ways..) rch at 8.20..

Cos dad drop mi off at the back of the admin block.. So i had to walk through to get to the library.. Dotx.. i can never find a way to get pass tt building man.. cos sat it's not open.. so i had to find alley ways to walk.. dOtx.. 1 conclusion: Sp reali has a lot of great hideouts.. SOme lanes r lyk so Wu-lu till no1 will walk de lorx..(but there also got a lot of .. Blangahs.. ) by the time i rch library.. It's 8.30 sharp.. n it feels funny to b 1 of the few living soul 2 b in tt builiding.. went up to the com lab 1st.. cos i left my floopy disk in the com i use the nite b4.. haha..(luckily i'm e last user 4 e day..) Then went to complete my process drawings while waiting 4 angela, wx n yy..

Hmm.. consider them to b a punctual lot.. i dn need to wait 4 2 long.. Haha.. then we got ourself a project room by the corner.. (3A-3A is not a bad room) erm.. Can c all 3 of us..(angela,yy n mi) or beri beri seh liaox.. COs.. lack of slp.. yy went over angela's hse to camp n 1 mission.. to complete our model.. UrGh.. they work on it over nite 4 5 hrs.. 5 FREAKING hours.. haha.. n slp 4 onli a few hrs b4 they came.. Haha.. Mus 'pei fu' them.. so e 4 of us split the work load.. angela n wx mostly touch up on the ppt.. Cos some information were still lacking.. Mi n yy work on the drawings n model-tinking n such.. N kexin did'nt come.. so we had 1 less brilliant mind to help..

Our main purpose to meet on sat.. is actually to practise our ppt.. NOT touching up.. but i guess.. not matter how much we planned.. god wun make life tt easy 4 us de.. Well.. Wht can we do.. but we reali put in ample efforts in tis IDEAS stuff.. so.. i'm reali glad wif wht we haf le.. Wht matters is not the result.. but the process.. Hehe.. Library closes at 12.30.. So we had to leave after tt.. n went to settle down by the benches outside the caterpillar trail.. Managed to wrap up a bit b4 i c them off to the station at arn 1..

The 3 of them went to yy's hse to reali wrap up everytink.. Tink kexin went also.. Then mi.. Went to daiko training lorx.. 4 once i'm punctual 4 training.. LOL.. mi n geradine moo jus sat there n do nth lorx.. haha.. Well.. lots of pple came 4 training on sat..we jus played basic songs 4 sun's performance.. N 2 go wif thru the arrangement of all the performance.. Haha.. n benzy was e director 4 the day.. sO funny.. the way he ask us to do tinks.. Hmm.. inexprience cos all the funny moments bah.. But practice makes perfect marx..

So the whole day jus whizz pass lyk these.. Training ends at abt 5.. Then we had own time own target.. After which is dinner.. Erm.. a dragging dinner.. cOs.. big group of pple also drag time.. Haha.. tink onli arn 6+ or 7 then rch holland v to eat.. The food there is not bad larx.. 5 main course n 15 plates of rice.. N we onli had 9 pplr alrite.. wEll.. guys generally do eat more rite.. Lol.. ( i still love the tofu most.. yummy..) After dinner.. Crap a lot.. went to 7-11 to get drinks.. Sort of regret tt i chip in wif the beer.. cos i did'nt eat ani tibits n i onli drank 2 cups of beer.. E bercardi i brought is nice.. N as usual.. my face still turn pink when i drink.. LOl.. gd blood circulation.. The gang played card games.. got play a few round b4 joining mz n geradine..(senior) to watch 'silence of the lamb' on com.. WoW.. is the word to describe the movie.. i can say it's a 5 star movie.. although it involves a lot of detail tinking and analyse to reali understand the whole show.. i guess tt's y mz using tt show 4 gems project bah..

After tt.. Jus chit-chat n tok crap.. N not forgetting tis freaking incident i mus mention.. Haha.. Mi n limin went to the toilet to wash out feet.. WE jus finished washing our feet when limin mention she want to use e bathroom.. Jus as she step into the cubicle.. the bloody lights jus went off.. N it was super pitch black.. Obviously.. 4 some1 hu's fear r supernatural stuff.. e 1st tink i do is scream n run.. pulling limin behind.. When we came out.. we realise tt her jacket is still inside.. n we dn dare to go in animore.. In e end haf to ask mz n yh to go in n get it.. Diaox.. Wth.. I tell u seriously, honestly.. i was reali scared out of my wits..

Lol.. i tink blogging works.. i'm tired le.. Continue tomorrow alrite.. =)

To b continued..

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Sunday, January 15, 2006

/ 12:17 PM

Haha.. jus admit it.. i'm anxious 2 hit my 300 post.. cos it's beri near le..

Decided to blog in Daik's room.. cos not everytime can blog here rite..Lol.. n summore.. i'm kinda feeling a bit down.. N yesh.. i brought drinks again.. 4 a beri long time le.. I do hope tt i'll get drunk.. or say out whtever i wan to say..

Haix.. i dnnoe y.. it seems tt distance is getting furthur n furthur away.. isit mi or isit reali e truth? i dn reali understand bah..

Haix.. so lack of slp.. Ideas is lyk so screwed.. I dnnoe how long we need to finish e entire project..Hey gers.. thanx 4 putting all the effort in.. esp angela n yy.. i noe it's reali hard on u guys.. n u guys sacrifise a lot..

I dnnoe if staying over nite here is a right choice.. Cos it's lyk so haix.. i dnnoe.. Wierd.. n i jus wan to c him smile.. tt's all...

Okie.. i tink shld b trying to b social rite.. i dnnoe.. haix.. dn blog le.. no mood.. i wanna get drunk.. haha.. hope 2molo's performance will be alrite..=)

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Saturday, January 14, 2006

/ 5:17 PM

i'm really sorrie peeps.. my eyes really can't open le.. n i haven really drew anitink yet.. i jus finished putting all the information into the slides.. cos e info wx sent mi can't directly open n paste in.. Cos of the bloody alignment.. so i haf 2 half type.. half copy.. urgh..

I really have to slp le.. i can't take it animore.. will try to wake up earlier or do it on the train.. then 2molo let u all c wht u guys wan 2 add in..

I really haf no mood now.. it's those kind of the days when i reali wan *ahem to b there by my side.. but all i get is aloffness from *ahem.. Which i so had to slap myslf.. haix.. i dnnoe.. sum times.. i felt *ahem is reali weird.. i find either *ahem has double character or.. i can't reali figure out y everytime *ahem's actions n everytink changes so differently.. But i lyk e better *ahem.. *obviously*...

Mus b lacked of slp toking rot.. tt's it.. im going to pack my stuff in 5 mins n in 10 mins time i'll faint aniwhere.. or everywhere..

reali sorrie again..

Haix.. i wan 2 get gd dreams 2nite.. N i miss.. *ya..rite*

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/ 4:37 PM

Can i post a post every 1 hr i work on my 2pid IDEAS project.. URGH.. i'm literally suffering..

I'm trying beri hard to battle zhou gong away..

Trying beri hard to tink of a way to draw all the diagrams i'm suppose to draw..

N.. i can say.. i'm feeling beri miserable now.. Sobx.. god.. pls sent someone or sth at tis hr to cheer mi up can?? i say anitink.. everytink.. jus sumtink 2 tell mi tt it's not the end of the world yet..

Okie.. enuf of grumbling.. shld get back to work.. Sobx.. i'm not even half way thru.. sobx.. will b back later to grumble somemore.. LOL..

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/ 3:14 PM

I noe.. i noe.. i shld b chiong-ing my ideas PPt now.. cos i need to let e grp c e result of it 2molo morning at 8.45..

But i jus feel lyk blogging 4 a while.. Duh.. i try 2 cut as short as possible alrite..

I dn understand how pple r lyk.. i dn understand how they feel.. wht they tink.. shld i b nice to them.. or shld i not... shld they b impt 2 mi.. or shld they not.. Sometime i feel that.. when i'm being nice to sum1 or did special stuff to some people.. i tink it's often being throw into the bin.. So i shld'nt waste my strength to do all these rite? I'm seriously troubled..

Aniway.. i'm so prepared to fail my PACC.. since i screwed e paper up by not finishing the paper.. wOw.. how fantastic could that be.. N after finishing e paper i went to the main library alone to c how much ideas i can do..

Achieved nth much.. cos i haf a lot of graphics 2 draw n scan n blah.. Urgh..

N.. i reali suddenly dn feel lyk goin 4 China tingy le.. Sobx.. i can't imagine how life will b when i come back.. 6 weeks lehx.. now i already feel so alien le.. if i come back sure worse de... Sobx..

i dnnoe wht i wan.. seriously.. i'm jus lyk sort of lying to myself.. if he's happy.. i'm happy.. am i really that 'wei da'.. i dnnoe.. wht i reali wan? sobx.. felt so depressed now... at least i'm glad i stayed jus to catch moments of him smiling.. silly mi.. i tink i'm jus a nuisance to every1.. esp him rite.. Lol.. haix.. so am i doin e rite tink?

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Friday, January 13, 2006

/ 2:12 PM

Haix.. dnnoe 2 b happy.. or not happy..

Dn need to go daiko 2molo..

Shld b happy cos..
1) i wun feel stress..
2) i go a bit more time to do ideas presentation

Shld not feel happy bcos..
1) i dn get to play daiko
2) Felt a bit.. haix.. shld i say so our of their world
3) every week i hope 4 tt day 2 come so tt i can jus c *ahem n tok 2 *ahem a little more.. so i wun get it..
4) I dnnoe.. i jus felt not happy more than i feel happy..

Damn..

I tink when i feel a bit more down than usual.. i'll tinking more n miss more.. n ya.. blah blah blah.. i dnnoe how i'm feeling nw also.. so wierd..But got 1 gd tink.. Staying over nite 4 daiko during the weekends.. Yeah!! haha.. if i still feel down.. at least i can drink until i die also no1 will noe.. haha.. Tt will b great..

Shld b off to studying Pacc now.. N i'm still tinking of wht 2 do after test.. so tt i wun go hm so early.. hmm..

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/ 8:38 AM

Seriously.. Life suxs..

Haha.. i tink i kinda lost my direction of life again.. mayb due to the fact that i tink my life is in a total mess now.. i'm almost losing everytink..(or i tink i haf lost everytink..) Frends, family, studies, Love, Urgh.. everytink larx.. I'm so sick of tis..

If i dn find back my motivation 4 life soon.. i tink.. i'm so screwed n dead..

To e both of u..:I noe i'm showing highly disrespect.. But.. did u guys show mi e due respect i shld get.. Sometimes i reali dn understand wht u guys r tinking abt.. Sometimes u all just treat it as alrite.. sometimes u all treat it as if i went to murder n tarnish the family name.. If u guys r in the worst of mood.. u all shld'nt b putting all ur temper on mi rite.. Yesh.. i admit.. i did'nt call home last nite.. I mean.. 1stly, my phone battery died on mi.. Wht can i do..? 2ndly, u guys noe tt i always never call hm de.. cos i everytime work also so late come back.. nvm abt tt.. so i apologise.. but wht e heck is wrong wif u guys? i reali went out wif ling n siew yest.. wht u guys were suspecting off? n i work in frnt of e com 2 wee hrs is not 2 do hanky-panky stuff or surf porn alrite? gif mi tt time n i rather slp.. U all shouted n scream at mi as though i'm a criminal.. wOrst still a bit*h.. Fu*k.. now i say.. serious.. i'm alreasy so stressed out wif all e projects falling on mi le.. i never let u guys noe all my problems.. n when i do.. u all jus say i grumble abt my life.. Fu*k.. i say also kena say by u all.. i dn say also kena say by u all.. wht u wan mi 2 do? U all keep tinking i'm jus being damn rebelious.. n keep threatening to ask mi 2 move out n support myslf if i can.. u all wan mi 2 repeat history again isit? haha.. Then when i reali do it.. u all pull mi back.. Fu*k.. U guys threaten 2 punish mi wif e usual way.. Seriously.. i say.. come larx.. from young till now.. when haf i not got tt treatment? E faster n harder e better.. kill mi even better.. then i wun haf 2 painstakenly tink of 101 ways to kill myslf.. i tink i haf no regrets on earth le bah.. if i jus die now..

I was reali so mad last nite.. when pple get framed 4 sth they did'nt do.. they will b beri mad n keep trying to clear their name rite.. they will felt injustice done to them.. but.. u jus c larx.. when they framed other pple wif tinks other pple did'nt do.. did they felt anitink?? i doubt it.. Human r jus so.. OMG.. Fu*k.. i noe i'm ranting on n on n on.. but jus let mi alrite.. it's a place 4 mi 2 rant marx.. i dn rant here then i'll explode inside.. Haix.. If u guys keep tinking e way u all did.. i also got no way 2 change it.. dn tok 2 mi abt u guys r changing.. u guys r not.. u guys r jus forcing mi 2 do tinks e way u wan mi 2 .. n u guys r suffocating mi already.. Jus wait.. i can't wait 2 hit my 21st birthday.. my 1st step 2 get fresh air..

Hmm.. after saying so much then felt reali better.. haha.. shld tok more abt yest.. LOL.. yest was lyk past in a breeze.. since it was wed.. furthurmore.. Mob tutorial play team building game marx.. so was quite fun.. n e egg nest tink reali test our grps bonding.. n finally i tot.. actually.. our mob grp was reali great man.. n our egg did'nt break.. Yeah! After tt was stats lecture.. 4 once in my life.. i actually reali listen thru e whole lecture..(okie.. dn include e part tt i keep looking at pple in e lecture hall.. bleh..) Felt actually stats's actually not tt hard.. but u mus b careful n put ur souls in it.. haha.. Feels great 2 listen 2 lectures.. But there's 1 great big disadvantage.. i felt so out of the world.. i dnnoe.. feel tt i dn mixed into the grp as well as b4 le.. Mayb cos every1 is moving forward while i'm still left behind.. i guess..

Okie.. so after tt.. went to discuss ideas a while.. then went off 4 Gems le..A bit disappointed.. 1st test onli got 72.. When there r pple getting 100.. Mcqs lehx... 1 qn then 4 marks le.. so i got 7 wrong larx.. haix.. Nvm lorx.. will try harder.. mayb do well 4 essay then will get my A le.. Mus jia you.. Hmm.. then cos Gems ends early.. so i haf 2 wait 4 ling at dover station.. erm.. i tink i waited 4 abt close to an hr bah.. Was standing at e overhead bridge there.. looking at e cars go.. Haix.. i also dnnoe wht i'm tinking abt.. aniway.. jus stood there lyk a fool.. which indeed i am..

After she came.. went to bukit batok wif her to get her jigsaw puzzle done.. but can't cos the shop is no longer there.. since haf 2 wait 4 siew 2 come also.. so went to walk walk around west mall.. kinda lyk e mall.. Lots of shop n not much pple.. Haha.. then brought clothes there.. beri beri nice once somemore.. Not very much my style.. cos i never try wearing lyk tt b4.. so tt's y i buy rite.. hmm...spent close to 50 bucks.. wHooping.. then walk somemore cos siew still haven come..

Well.. we tot we were kinda late when siew came.. can't blame her.. lessons ends at 4 n she's at temasek.. Hmm.. but.. we r not larx.. still manage to get there n get pretty gd seats.. ya.. there were superstars n singpore idol pple there.. n there were also judges from li wei song yin yue jiao shi.. WooT.. some sang reali reali well.. some.. jus lost out.. We got to vote too.. n e guy i vote did'nt win.. although he got e highest marks from the judges..*e world is jus so unfair*.. cos the guy hu got champion has the highest no of votes,..130 lehx.. there's pple hu onli get 6 okie.. then our vote actually stands 60% of their results.. so u c.. but the guy hu won has the ability 2 sing larx.. so nvm lorx.. e ger hu got 1st runner up is by pure voting she got tt.. I mean.. other than her 'wu tai mei li'.. everytink lacks out a lot..Well.. can't say much rite..

N they haf lucky draw.. n i got it.. can u imagine it?? LOL.. so mani hundred n i'm 1 of them.. mus b bos my ticket is brought from the shuai ge host.. Haha.. ya larx.. got party world voucher.. Jio mi sing k after exams b4 mar 15 bah!! Yeah..

Event onli ended at arn 10.. N it was raining.. (yesh.. it rained again.. haha..) by then time i got hm was lyk close to 12 mn le.. Bathe n jus fall alslp.. hu noe god wht ever shit.. Tink when i jus fall alslp.. War fall upon mi.. So.. ya.. had war in bed.. hu cares reali rite.. i swear i'll never treat them nice again.. since they always crush my trust on them.. Fu*k..

Today...

Today's Sb day.. n dumb mi tot lecture at 12 nn.. but e fact is it's at 11.. so when i got to the lecture hall.. i jus sat down 4 5 mins then end of lecture le.. haha.. n attendance 4 e whole hall was pathetic.. then went out to the fair to play n eat.. e choc mushmallow is super nice.. haha.. yesh.. i love chocolate..*throw away e tot of being fat 4 a moment..*

Then got a pair of earrings from fel's store.. so incidentally e pair i brought is yy's pair.. haha.. then went to eat hotdogs.. wif cheese inside.. super nice.. realli.. although it's a bit charred.. but hu cares as long as it taste nice.. then yy called to say they were outside tis room n call us if we wan 2 get in to take a look.. Well.. $2 entrance fee.. n the room was lyk jus a lounge.. super cool.. dark n dim.. n we brought drinks..ya.. they haf wierd names lyk muddy water n policeman n we haf nuts too.. haha.. WE (mi,angela,wx,yy,benzy,jean,jy,ym..)chat n luff larx.. Time jus passes lyk tt..

At arn 1.15.. decided to leave e place n head off 4 haunted hse.. Gees.. met ms han along the way..cos outside e office got buffet 4 lecturers.. then we say hi n bye then went 2 T19 lorx.. Well.. the place has quite some pple queuing.. n so we had to queue.. but it was a queue worth while.. there were 2 seperate rooms wif different theme.. 1 is western.. 1 eastern.. N both were bloody scared.. E 6 of us remains went..(mi,yy,angela,benzy,jean n ym..) then we went in a grp of 3.. i went wif benzy n angela.. So funny larx.. all our reaction is lyk reali make mi luff until cry.. then all of us scream lyk hell.. e 1st room was western..so funny when e 1st person.. or ghost rather jump on us.. n we haf 2 made to crawl thru a tunnel.. E funny part is tt.. there's a ghost above the tunnel jus rite above the ending of the tunnel waiting to scare us.. LOL.. benzy went 1st.. cos e 2pid ghost tt scared us at the frnt keep wanted to grab hold of us.. so we want to quickly get pass the tunnel.. LOL.. cos benzy did'nt noe there's another 1 at e ending.. n it's so freaking.. haha.. she or he jus pops her mask face wif long frizzy hair in frnt of u tt made u scream n jump.. n u dnnoe how 2 get pass tt ting..haha.. I went 2nd.. n tt freaking tink was lyk reali freaky.. n of cos.. i scream a hell lot..

Angela went last.. n her reaction is the funniest.. cos the ghost in frnt keep wanting to grab hold of her.. but she also scared to go thru e tunnel after we scream.. then she saw e freaky tink.. N keep saying.."Ahh.. go away larx.. go back where u belong.. Blah blah blah.." i can't remember le.. but it was damn funny.. haha.. then we had to pull the freaking head up to let her pass.. tink mi n angela cling onto benzy 4 all our dear lives.. haha..

After we came out of the 1st room.. we were lyk .. omg.. it was so scary lorx.. then still got 2nd room.. when we got in.. I got scared by the white tink at e corner.. Tt stretch out her hand..i was lyk scream n scared till i fall down.. wah liaox.. so funny larx.. then it's so dark.. u can't reali c where u r going.. then there's a lot of corner.. then sometimes there will b hands coming out of the table underneath trying to grab ur hands.. or whack u.. or ghost tt jump out n keep following u.. wah liaox.. they stay there after they scare u still okie lehx.. they still keep following u tt kind.. then at e part where the following ghost suddenly jump out.. angela got so scared n fell while she struggle.. Erm.. she was grabbing on to benzy so he fell.. i was grabbing on to benzy.. so i fell 2.. so e 3 of us jus stuggle to get up n get away from tt irritating fellow trying to get hold of us.. e props were wOw.. where did they get an altar man?? dotx.. i dnnoe how i manage to survive the whole tink.. but i tink i did.. LOL..

E next grp tt went also scream lyk hell.. we can hear them from outside.. i tink both of our grps scream lyk hell larx.. Haha.. After we came out.. we all agreed it was a reali well done haunted hse.. really.. 1 of e best i went le.. LOL.. so sad e others were'nt here.. haha..

Lol.. still stuck in biz lib.. dnnoe later wan go main library anot.. Cos i reali dn wan to go hm so early.. Go back also sianx..also wun do anitink there.. but staying in sch i also dnnoe wht i wan to start on.. haix.. tink i'll start on ideas 1st.. n not 4getting.. there's PaCc test 2molo.. though onli 10% but it may help mi a lot le.. dn play play.. okie larx.. tt's it 4 now larx.. if from now till goin hm still got tinks can blog then i'll blog it.. =)

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Wednesday, January 11, 2006

/ 3:21 PM

Wah.. sO tired after work.. Lol.. yesh.. went back 2 polo 4 work.. actually wan 2 work morning shift de.. but they reali not enuf pple.. so i haf 2 drop it..Feels wierd going back to work cos there r more part timer there now.. haha.. n i dn even noe them..

N yeaH.. Got 2 oxford shirts.. 4 free.. 1 blue 1 pink.. Hmm.. e blue's condition is not tt gd.. but can make it larx.. but i love e pink.. YipEe.. N.. 2day jus passes lyk tt..

Now i noe wht's the meaning of 'kou shi xin fei'.. Haix.. I dnnoe larx.. e tinks i say r always not wht my heart tinks abt.. If u r pinning.. Then y dn u jus say u hope tt 2 happened.. y say no..

Actually really want to write alot of tinks.. but suddenly lost all my tots liaox.. Wth.. mayb 2 tired le.. 2molo will be a fun day i guess.. finally got chance ( n time.. ) to meet up wif siew n ling.. Urgh.. i miss them.. So in total i miss 3 person everyday.. almost every sec.. So my brain is pretty tired after all..

Okie.. tt's it.. i haf 2 start on projects now.. It's a must.. Lol..

Sometimes.. some pple around u r jus so unpredictable rite.. u never noe when they will gif u a stab abt the back.. or worst.. tt i can't imagine.. Y mus we in live play such a survival game.. i'm so sick of tis.. i dnnoe hu 2 trust.. e person i trust is always not there 4 mi.. i'm so scared beri soon i'll b puppet.. n i dn wish tt 2 happen..

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Tuesday, January 10, 2006

/ 4:32 PM

Okie.. i noe it's past midnite le.. working 2molo on haji n so i mus slp almost immediately since last nite i onli slp 4 4 hrs.. So i'm jus going to make tis short larx..

Dotx.. I'm struggling in Daiko again.. Sometimes.. i dn really understand how my brain works.. am i consider a clever or intelligent person or isit by pure luck tt i'm rite here.. I seem so stupid alright.. How come other pple can achieve sometinks by jus trying once or twice n yet i haf to do at least 3 or 4 times of how mani times they tried.. Okie.. i noe i'm comparing.. but suppose we r of same level.. shld'nt our brain works at same level.. Lol..

2 limin, our nai ma.. Xin ku ni le.. Can c tt she also teach mi until beri ke lian.. Teach mi mus haf super patience n mus tolerate my low self-esteem..(*ahem.. i also haf low self-esteem alrite..) Yesh.. although in e end i'm able to catch up.. but i sum how keep tinking abt tis.. I tink i'm jus purely 2pid..

Then.. we went to hougang to haf dinner.. ya.. e attitude coffeeshop wif e attitude boss, coffeelady n everytink.. Dotx.. consider e food 2 b quite nice.. we shld pardon it.. Then after eating.. we were toking n they were saying lame jokes.. Den i tink i'm guiliable n 2pid n shld i say naive? Felt lyk a fool.. Lol.. i'm not angry larx.. jus tt y lyk i beri 'hao pian' lyk tt.. isit true tt i trust 1 easily n speaks out e ultimate truth from my heart.. Hmm.. striaght-forwardness may not be a gd tink...N.. I tink i'm seriously irrtating all e time..

Contridicting part.. When i dn tok.. pple tot i'm in bad mood or whtever cos i suddenly bcum quiet.. then they find mi weird.. then when i tok.. e way i tok lyk somehow dn fit into their circle.. dOTx.. wht's wrong wif mi.. i also dnnoe.. shld i jus shut up n listen 2 whtever pple say from now on?

Hmm.. i dnnoe y i'm here online saying all these in e middle of e nite.. cld b due to e lack of slp.. haha.. Jus treat them as all rubbish.. cos e nect morning when i wake up, i'll feel better le..

Somehow.. tinks haf got a little better.. thanx 4 trying to make my life easier.. at least i felt there's still sum1 in class i can cling on 4 a while n trusted the most.. i dnnoe how u felt after u saw my wallet.. * i told u not to c rite.. but curiosity kills the cat..* If it's disturbing u.. sorrie.. But tis shows how important u r 2 mi in life when u r place side by side wif my besties.. =)

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Monday, January 09, 2006

/ 8:23 AM

Brrr.. it's been raining e whole day.. WooT.. It's so damn cold.. n it's such a nice weather to slp in.. Haix.. SO sick rite.. Mus god treat mi tis way?? Although i say i got lots of tinks to be done at hm.. U dn need to confine mi at hm rite.. N summore.. rain until lyk so heavily.. Wan go out also sianx liaox.. Trying to test mi rite..

Haha...Change the song on my blog le.. Ya.. i noe tis song quite old le.. by BoA larx.. so coincidentally.. i went to play her best of soul cd when i'm doing my work.. ERm.. tot tis song is really nice.. n e content of the song makes mi wan to cry so much.. Haha..Cos the lyrics fits my plot.. Jus tt e plot did'nt last.. Dn understand then 4get it.. I gif u e lyrics some other time..

Felt a bit of achievement today.. I actually haf the mood to sit down and finished all my work..Haha.. It's definately a miricle.. Actually also not all larx.. i haven reali studied 4 Econs yet.. Cos.. i feel lyk going online to blog after i finish tis 3 tasks...

1. My biz chi essay..haha.. I left the typing out part.. Dotx.. not easy sia.. 500 word essay after a yr of not writing compo.. Woot.. LOL..
   
2. My pAcc tutorial.. trust mi.. God is treating mi really well.. luckily both tutorials arn't tt hard.. seriously.. So i managed to get them done in 1hr+++.. YeAh.. these are the days when i dn hate pacc tt much..
   
3. My ideas process.. i promise angela to do them up by 2molo.. I finished it in the short time as i still could'nt draw them out yet.. (i firgured..) cos.. i still dn haf how our image will look lyk n how the bloody chair will look lyk also.. sO i jus wrote out the template process neatly.. 2molo discuss le then c how lorx..
   

Hmm.. Suppose to wake up 2day at 9.15 when my alarm goes off.. (COs.. got so much tinks to do.. if dn wake up early scared cannot finished..) But my mum woke up e whole hse at 8.. (N i slept late last nite alrite..Ling called mi.. n i'm glad jl is making her life easier by still treating her lyk b4.. Jus tt lyk no status.. So ger.. u r lyk 100x more 4tunate than mi alrite.. N.. i was having a gd dream.. Y did u wake mi up??) U guys go out also dn need to make known 2 every single living tink in e hse bah.. N 4 once in lyk a week i managed to slp a little better.. n dream of tinks tt i've always dream.. WElL.. mother.. Spare mi e agony lehx..

Okie.. after she left wif my dad n bro.. i went back 2 slp since the weather was perfect.. n when e alarm rang.. i refuse to get up until lyk 10 a.m.. When i pulled myslf out from my nice cosy bed.. Wanted to get breakfast at mac cos my sis wans it.. Haha. fated de.. cos my sis wan redeem her pts 4 tt hotcakes she loved.. but the machine spoil.. in e end i got century egg porridge.. The century egg is nice.. the porridge was okie.. but the auntie hu sold it.. definately NOT NICE.. i dn own u money alrite.. attidute is so bad man.. Oh gosh.. i tink our service industy is reali lyk.. haix..

So went home 2 eat my porridge.. ERm.. after tt.. i slog lyk mad to finished my 3 task.. Trying to enjoy the day.. But wif tis kind of weather.. it's really a test 4 mi 2 c how much i've accept the fact.. how tinks r goin on now.. N i tink.. i coping really well.. Ya... as least i dn felt the pain as much le.. n it's really has been reduced to the minimum.. E onli tot in my mind now is.. would it haf been better if i kept tt chance 2 after a new sch yr starts.. Rite now.. it's so much so much worst than ani another tink.. I want to start build up our frendship again.. I dnnoe wht he wans.. But If he chose not to treat mi as a frend animore.. i also cannot do anitink.. I guess..

Haiya.. i'll try my best larx.. 2 mend up whtever crack or holes or whtever shit tt is produced.. so tt at least if i die e next day.. i also wun leave ani regrets behind.. n i can die in peace.. at least wo mei you dui bu qi zi ji.. haha..

So sianx.. shld get on wif my chi essay typing le.. Lol.. If at nite got time then c if i got anitink 2 blog bah.. =)

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Sunday, January 08, 2006

/ 12:27 PM

Yup.. Came in earlier 2 blog 2day..Well.. i haf lots of tinks to complete.. SO mani tinks 2 do till i haf 2 take off on both days..(Actually Sun is Andy tell mi not 2 go de.. Phew.. Or else i dnnoe wht 2 lie man..)

Erm.. Did a lot of "alone" tinks 2day.. Humph.. Let's start from the morning.. My bad habit is back again alrite.. LOL.. I was meant to wake up at 6.45 when e bloody alarm rang off.. BUT.. I dnnoe how i manage to persuade myslf to slp till 8.15 a.m then wake up.. Haha.. Cos i tot e main library will opent ill at least 3 p.m..

BUT..

When i rch sch.. I discover tt it's open onli until 12.30.. Okie.. so i tot i at least will still haf 2 n a half hrs 2 do as much as i can.. If cannot finished then tink of another way lorx.. haha.. N yesh.. i'm still super frustrated wif all the codes n animation n everytink..Cos e 2pid frntpage need to save everytime u want to preview in browser.. n if tt does'nt work.. u can still delete the code away.. But the worst is.. when it mess up e whole page on it's on.. Then tt's reali a lot of work.. Haf to retrieve back up n start all over again.. Lyk wht Mr tay say.. He told mi not to put 2 mani animations in le.. Cos.. our file is still beri messy.. n we never noe wht tinks we put inside may affect wht.. Brrrr.. Dotx.. So.. i jus stick wif tt rule n did my best to beautify it.. Haix.. Well.. i was lyk 95% done when tis sign pops up on my com.. The system will log mi off in 2 mins time.. FREAK.. n it was onli 12 nn.. DOTx.. SO.. i had to quickly save all my files..

I tink i'll visit the main library more during saturday.. IT's really super duper peaceful.. Hmm.. *Considering to be a nerd 4 once again..* The lab onli got lyk around e most 30 pple there.. Wif lyk hundreds of computers not used.. the project rooms r never fully booked.. n u reali will haf e mood to study..(or slp) in the cooling n quiet atmosphere.. LOL... Why is e library so quiet? 1 conclusion: COs..we students there r 2 lazy to get up early in the morning (esp a saturday morning) to go n visit the library.. LOL.. haha.. i noe.. tt's so cold.. Dn care abt tt..

So.. i walked out of the library at 12 nn.. Keep tinking hu in the world will haf Frontpage programme in their com.. 1st i call siew.. She's sound slpy.. n she's sick.. N she dn haf it.. SO i wish her well.. then i call raymond.. he's still alslp.. Later found out he's sick.. so i dn bother him le.. Then i finally msg angela.. ask her if it's okie if i drop by.. she say alrite.. at first tot of going in the late afternoon.. cOs.. it's raining again..

Okie.. nth special abt e rain.. jus tt rain is always associated with being lonely, sad.. n i jus got the sudden urgh to be alone n go walk walk 4 a while.. But when i rch the station.. n look at the mrt stations.. on where i can go.. I decided to go back Tampines man.. haha.. No place 4 mi 2 go.. I want to shop 4 clothes..(CNY).. but tt needs some advice bah? hehe.. n plenty of $$$.. N.. if i was to go some other place.. i haf less than 2 hrs b4 i head to angela's hse.. lyk can do nth much lyk tt.. So.. 2 hrs after i rch dover.. i went back to Tampines again.. Diao..

So.. i rch angela's hse at arn 2 p.m.. N started on the frontpage straight away.. do until 3+.. then angela told mi abt e planning 4 ideas n Mob project schedule she drew out.. She's an excellent organiser.. Hope tt plan will work smoothly.. then we'll really haf sometink out by e deadline.. Okie.. so tis weekend.. i'll b so damn busy..

Left her hse at arn 4+ bah.. it's was drizzling a bit.. Then it began to pour.. N so.. i can't walk home.. Well..god purposely de larx.. 10 steps away n i can take a bus to the interchange.. Hmm.. Can go there walk walk also quite gd wht..Go home early also dnnoe can focus n do tinks anot..

Brrr.. e bus was freezing..Opps.. i mean.. the aircon was freezing mi 2 almost half death.. but i sum how also came to realise that i'm beginning to heal.. Start to take tinks easier le.. Well.. e most challenging part is not day time.. but nite time.. Since day time is much better le.. i guess nite time will sum how improve also..In my heart.. i already convince myslf.. Fate n time will tell mi everytink..

Erm.. while enduring the cold.. my right arm hurts again.. WTF.. Never join cheerleading.. Well.. always got accidents n in e end u will end up at e sinseh there to get ur injured part pulled n twisted.. Urgh.. then 3 yrs after tt.. u will still suffer from post effect.. ya.. Wth.. Tis few days got worst.. i dnnoe y.. i suspect is 3 or 4 nites ago.. suddenly woke up from nitemare hit the board at my bed there.. DOtx.. my dad's invention sia.. gd pts alot larx.. gd 4 mi 2 put my specs n handphone my contact lense n everytink.. but.. Every time at nite will either hit the head or hit the hand.. haix.. Well.. tt sort of affected mi at daiko yesterday.. I can't hold the sticks really well.. haix.. tink it's time to go to the sinseh again.. i tink..(hopefully not larx.. everytime come out sure cry de..='( )

After i rch the interchange.. went to the accessories shop.. Hmm.. wanted to get lip gloss n blusher.. But.. i tink the lip gloss sold at watson still look n feel better.. n blusher? i can't make up my mind wht shade to get.. i noe.. tis is so not mi.. But.. I'm not tt normal rite? haha.. once in a while i was want to look a bit different marx.. Well.. but i still did'nt get them at e shop.. Get it some other day larx..

Went to shop around 4 suitable clothes 4 new yr.. Okie.. walk pass This fashion.. n saw quite a lot of nice tops.. so i went in.. Erm.. It was quite pack.. n e place is really messy.. cOs.. they got a lot of new stocks.. I tink i stay there 4 lyk more than an hr.. keep trying on clothes.. hmm.. i really lyk 1 top tt is 2 piece de.. 1 tanktop inside plus an offshoulder jacket outside.. it looks great on mi.. Big problem? there's onli 1 piece left.. n the knitted piece inside is a bit streched by the side cos of the safety tag.. Urgh.. So.. i haf 2 drop tt piece.. N i got myslf a top.. Hmm.. sometink i dn usually buy..Stripes.. furthurmore.. yellow n orange colour.. hmm.. i look better in the blue 1.. but tt 1 got a hole at the bottom.. n also no new piece.. so i took the yellow n orange 1.. ERm.. it's also a off shoulder.. n it's 3/4 sleeve.. Yeah.. sO i got 1 piece going.. haha..

Will shop 4 more.. Hu wans go shopping wif mi? Erm.. ya.. it wil most probably b last min shopping larx.. cos coming week.. n e week after quite pack wif projects.. Oi.. those promise to go shopping wif mi de better keep ur words arx.. grab mi when i'm free.. LOL..

Hmm.. when i came out from tt place.. e rain stop le.. n it was 6 liaox..so i head home lorx.. Busy day spent.. It's the best way to heal.. i guess.. ya.. it works 4 mi larx.. till now i also still felt quite happy although it's 8+ le.. Haha.. hope to keep it tt way larx..

Lalala.. Feels great to write a complete post today.. dOtx.. Dnnoe if i'll feel bored at home tomolo.. better not.. cos.. econs test i also haven study a single bit.. Urgh..

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Saturday, January 07, 2006

/ 3:33 PM

Blog on the train..(Dnnoe wht is tis? Erm.. sumtimes when i'm 2 bored or when i feel lyk blogging.. i'll blog it in my phone.. Well.. my phone does haf tis function.. it's jus tt i dn sent it 2 my blog tt's all.. i saved it.. ERm.. sending costs alrite.. LOL..)

So.. i guess 2day's blog on the train is alrite to disclose.. here goes..

1st day of trying the life of a plastic.. isit e correct phrase? LOl.. can't blame mi for using tt.. i mean hu will carry a handbag 2 sch wif books on e other hand.. ya.. i admit myslf.. it's a.. NOT practical.. haha.. But since ved dare mi 2 do it.. Y not? Since i'm not in the rite mind now.. Might as well do sumtink tt i wun usually do.. 4 once.. i feel reali sad 4 those pple hu r always trying to keep up with fashion n always seeks attention on their dressing no matter where she go..It's so hard.. u noe.. i had a reallu hard time tinking of wht i wan to wear 2 sch bcos of a darn handbag tt i haf 2 match.. i tink i almost threw out my whole wardrobe.. until i still decide 2 wear my polo tee with my op skirt..(okie.. e guys consider mi cheating.. COs it's not reali a skirt..) then nest is how to organise all e tinks needed into the pathetic small space.. Haha..

1 conclusion.. They will never bring everytink needed out.. As u noe.. i'm a water barrel.. But i can never find a way 2 bring tt out wif mi.. so i drop it.. then i haf 2 bring stationery 4 writing purposes.. Guess wht.. All i can bring is 1 pencil, 2 pens, 1 ruler n 1 small tiny eraser...LOL.. tt's consider a feat 4 being able 2 sueeze everytink into tt small box..

Worse of all.. i haf daiko 2day..Urgh.. can't possibly ask mi 2 bring another set of clothes 2 change bah.. so i decided 2 jus bring 1 Fbt shorts n put it into e bag.. Urgh..

N my mum tot i was goin 2 skip sch to go out or sth..Haha.. cos i never bring jus a handbag 2 sch.. Dotx.. jus began 2 feel better.. Yesterday's slp was much much better..Cos i was so tired from all e days tt did'nt slp well.. plus an extra dose of fever medicine... tt does e trick.. Though i still woke up once.. But i guess it's much better than tossing arn in bed till wee hrs n counting thousands of sheeps till u hate numbers so much rite..

Thank god 4 sending pple 2 gif concern 2 mi.. so surprise tt wee kuan called mi tis morning when i say i'm on my way 2 sch.. n he wan 2 wait 4 mi.. he's really a gd god brother of mi alrite.. heis gf beri 4tunate arx..

Alan came to chat with mi 2 last nite 4 a while.. cAn c he's really beaming with happiness.. happy 4 him as well.. he 2 gaf mi encouragement.. He told mi he dn wan 2 c mi b so sad.. He nos i may not be able to get over him.. so he told mi it's alrite.. I can jus walk away quitely though he's still there in my heart..Can't put down then minimise my own pain..

Siew.. i'm sorrie i still chose tis path.. Pls dn say animore tinks abt him animore.. Unoe u hit him once = to hitting mi twice..He's really not as bad as wht u said.. it's a mental barrier he has 2 go thru.. there's nth wrong wif his characteristics.. really.. If i had to b single all my life.. SO b it.. I haf no remorse..

Haha.. So late 4 sch now.. But nvm larx.. i'm more worried abt itab n ideas n of cos MOb..Hmm.. goin to sch shld b a happy tink.. Cos at least i get 2 c wht i wan 2 c.. Shld'nt let songs shuffled on my mp3 affect my mood..My thumb hurts.. so i tink i'll stop.. LOl..

Yup.. so tt's my post on train 2day.. yesh.. acting demure is not easy.. walking on heels around also not easy..haha.. N i've won the dare.. Ved say i dn need to do it 4 a weeks.. N so.. he treat mi or shld i say us pizza hut 4 lunch.. Okie.. thanx 2 mi.. (mz, benzy,bson, yongda, yunn miin, jun ying) got tis treat free as well.. hehe.. ERm.. i love the soup of the day.. I love eating with those guys.. at least i luff.. Genuinely.. Thanx vedro 4 making my day 2day..=)

Erm..We r sort of late 4 mob after tt.. Well.. he jus started on 1 slide.. so tt david cheong isin't ani faster either.. i love sitting beside benzy 4 lecture..Never a dull moment.. n he's a true fren.. i noe u meant well 4 mi.. Thanx 4 all e tinks u said 2 mi 2day.. At least u appreciated my presense..

After tt.. Went 2 libraries to do my 2pid ITAB frontpage.. Kill mi literally.. Y got so mani problem de.. urgh.. bcos of the 2pid file name.. tt is all the same n there's at least 2 of them the same.. Wth.. so i can't do my touchup cos i need to delete the wrong ones which i had no idea which r those.. UrGh.. with e help of yy..(Thanx ger..) mi n her went all the way from biz library to CLS blk 2 find tay kuan seng.. no luck.. he's not in.. SO.. we went to main library 2 try our luck.. the library was bloody pack.. n 4 once i dn smell the rotten egg smell animore.. ERm.. We still cld'nt do anitink.. so after 20 mins..we went to his office again.. thank god.. he's there..

1 tink i'm beri sure of.. he's super blind n super blur.. even blurrer than mi.. Oh god.. yi shan hai bi yi shan gao.. dOTx.. sO dumb dumb lyk tt.. Opps.. I'll take tt sentence back.. COs.. he help mi wif tis major problem.. still can't really figure out wht 2 delete and wht not to delete.. had 2 call angela to come down to e office wif her back up copy.. Haix.. after angela come he sort of did his magic using the files from my thumbdrive copy some over here.. take some file from angela there.. dnnoe larx.. than delete tis and tt.. tink i arn 4 then walk out of his office.. UrGh.. Spend e next hr at main library doing as much touch up as i could..

Than.. went to Daiko.. Dotx.. 2G out of 3G was there 2day.. i was earliest from my gang.. Did the normal routine.. haiya.. when u dn put ur heart n soul n focus on the tink u r doin.. u wun do well de.. i did badly 4 daiko 2day.. WTh.. ERm.. i'll promise to try really harder to focus next time.. 2day they announce the songs they playing 4 concert.. Got the sudden urge to stay.. but well.. haix.. e moment i tot of unable to b there wif every1 when playing makes mi really sad.. esp when i noe.. When they wear the costumes sure beri pretty n shuai de.. Haha.. But i can't change a lot of tinks le.. caN i? haix..

Hit the lowest pt of the week.. Nite time is my weakness.. really.. When going back.. i was feeling rather moody.. cld b e fact tt i sense one of my frendship is being threaten.. n so.. fear mixed with moodness is really bad.. did'nt tok much..Msg siew 4 comfort n yet i make e same lethal mistake again..

I dnnow wht he'll tink of tt.. 1 sentence.. i reali dn mean it.. i haf no idea y i pressed ur name.. up 2 u 2 believe n trust my words.. But i reali dn mean it.. Tink from 2day on wards mus double check or even triple check.. cannot make tt mistake again..

I tink i haf enuf of venting here 4 a week le.. I guess.. I shld not let every1 noe abt my venting le.. sHld start keep again.. since my heart now is currently empty from all the venting tt is jus being emptied out.. N i dn wan to pressure him animore.. i seriously dn wish our frendship 2 b threaten.. Gif mi time to recover.. gif mi time to convert the fact to dream.. 2 gif up or not 2 gif up depends on time n fate as these 2 will gif mi an answer eventually.. I wan u 2 noe now.. I now truely believe tt i wan to be ur one n only 'hao peng you'..

Tired le.. I shld try 2 go slp now.. N gO sch early in e morning to do ITAb.. YEsh.. i'm not working tomolo.. i cancel it 4 ITAB.. wei da rite..

Hope 2 keep tis gd feeling everyday.. SO tt i'll b a happier person..=)

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Friday, January 06, 2006

/ 2:55 PM

I'm so tired.. but i can't slp.. my whole brain is so occupied with.. Erm.. i shld not say.. My weaker side is showing..

Can't blame mi.. COs.. i'm really not feeling well.. When u r feeling sick.. all u wan is jus to have sum1 by urside.. tt significant 1 2 b there 2 tell u everything will be alrite.. N.. tt makes mi even more sick than ever..

I tink all i need is a gd rest.. i took my temperature n add medicine le.. If i dn slp well 2nite.. I'm goin to be so dead.. i wun recover..all i do everyday.. or shld i say nite.. is 2 keep telling him to slp early n well.. n mi.. i can't even slp well.. gaf out all my blessing le..

Sometink is seriously wrong wif mi.. i dn even really noe wht is it.. I hate when nite falls.. my mind is doin it's work.. i hate it.. tt's y god sent mi lots of frends that i dn really contact to keep a close look on mi.. all e way till nite.. so tt i wun feel that pain so much..

Ya lorx.. 2day went Tmall again.. Wif wee kuan and karen they all.. to celebrate wee kuan's birthday.. i dn haf strength to go into details.. but..
Happy Birthday Wee kuan..
Although the programme is damn bored.. tink i spent my afternoon quite wastefully.. but rather i go home n keep tinking.. then i really will go bonkers.. E feeling of wan to cry but can't cry.. The feeling of wanting him by ur side but all u get is air.. the feeling of dying n yet u r still living.. the feeling of jus sitting there to stone all day n nite n dn move a inch.. eVerytink not rite is all in it..

i jus hate to go home early nowdays..

Maybe if i use to throw tantrum n flood s'pore lyk mad will make mi feel better.. the worst part is.. i can't do it.. i dnnoe y.. all i can do is use words to vent.. I dnnoe.. i keep tinking if i shld write all these down.. seems unfair to the people i'm writing abt.. But.. can i jus b selfish 4 once.. If i can't even write it here.. i dnnoe how crazy i'll go to.. Or wht other tinks i'll do.. SO.. if u tink tt if u continue to read all these will cause u 2 hate mi more.. n move furthur n furthur away from mi.. i begged u not to read.. Cos.. i can't bear 4 u 2 leave my life.. Jus tis..

Will u still treat mi as ur really good fren? that i can't b replaced by ani1? will u still share ur inner tots wif mi lyk u once did? will u still tok 2 mi lyk we use to? Can we still go out jus by ourselves n still haf lots of fun? Can we?

I want to cry all.. shout out.. scream out.. Everytink.. Anitink.. to make myslf feel better.. but i can't.. e onli way to really cure mi is to tell mi that all these is jus a nitemare.. n wht happened 5 days ago is still ongoing.. It's hard... really hard to accept tis.. I noe i'm suffering from post symptons.. sometimes u felt urslf going okie.. sumtimes u feel u can't accept..

When pple tok 2 mi abt u.. i so got the verge to cry.. i jus can't.. Thank you 4 still treating mi normally.. so that at least.. trying to find ways n tinks to purposely find u to talk.. makes mi feel a bit better everyday..

not going to say animore.. Cos.. pple r toking abt stuff that makes my eyes teary again..

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/ 1:41 AM

Yup.. i'm in sch now.. n 4 once.. i'm early 4 class.. 4 2 sake of my webpage.. WTH.. in the end the teacher recopy e whole folder n everytink is gone.. DOTX..

i'm so tired.. still did'nt slp well last nite.. keep sneezing.. then can feel the head goin beri heavy.. Oh no.. signs of mi falling sick.. n i dn wan 2 fall sick.. Cos when u fall sick.. ur weaker side will show much more clearly.. i c that in Ling now.. i can't possibly do tt now..cos plenty of projects n CAs waiting 4 mi 2 challenge..

Everytink is falling apart.. i'm so bloody stressed now.. Really.. projects not goin smoothly.. CAs not studied yet.. falling sick.. N i haf 2 struggle tis all on my own..

Well.. no wonder they say best frends will always suffer the same fate.. Ok larx.. i admit.. she got hit harder.. But i hope she's coping well.. cos i'm trying my best to.. To ling: really sorrie 4 not spending enuf time wif u.. so much stuff has happen in our individual lives.. n i'm really packed with my words.. felt so guilty.. but i'm glad u r coping better now..

I can't wait 4 e day where all the projects n CAs r over.. i can't wait 4 the day when my dreams become reality..(yucks.. sound so much lyk east spring mission or motto or whtever..) i can't wait 4 e day when i die.. (okie.. dn sound panic.. i'm not on e verge of killing myslf.. jus feel lyk a bit tired to move on in life..) haha.. i mean.. i dnnoe.. i'm going a little bonkers..

Hehe.. i dnnoe larx.. i mean.. i got influence from raymond larx.. when u haf a happy-go-lucky person as ur close frend..u will sum how get infected with his attidute towards tinks.. though he looks okie.. but i noe.. deep now.. sum how.. he wun b 100% of wht he is showing now...

Yawns.. I'm lacking of slp.. e teacher is boring.. no help at all.. n.. i'm feeling faintish..
I guess tis is the best time 4 my diet plan 2 work..(well.. it works perfectly well wif ling.. LOL..) I'm proud to say.. the shorts i wore now is feeling a bit loose le.. n i can't c my tummy.. URGH.. Good or bad.. but if i do really lost weight rite.. i guess.. it's an unhealthy kind.. BUT hu cares.. as long as i lose weight then die.. then it will be fabulous..

I agree with ling.. WE r 2 siao ting tong now.. Tok also a bit siao siao one.. Ya larx.. it's super side effect.. Wtf..

2day i look at myslf in the mirror.. my eyebags r horrible..but 2day i tink i look fine.. in fact.. i tot i love myslf a bit more 2day.. haha.. tt's impt rite.. but trust mi.. tis tot wun last long.. i'll soon tok abt plastic surgery again..

Tinking of how 2 organise my 24 hrs now.. shld i work? hmm.. beri beri big issue.. i promise them 2 work le.. but i definately going 2 do morning shift on mon.. i wan 2 do well 4 econs.. i wan to.. i'm beri scared i disappoint ms wang again..i dn wan to disappoint myslf either..

So sianx.. ling jus msg mi.. she found the real tink in life she wans.. although she's not goin to get it.. y is she so stupid as mi.. haix.. no choice.. hu ask we r besties.. LOL.. siew u r our bestie too.. BUT.. we dn wan u 2 follow our footstep.. TOUCH WOOD!! lol..

Okie.. enuf of being crazy.. i jus need to distress.. so i came to tok rubbish n tok crap.. sOrrie.. 4 those hu r reading tis.. tis is such a fruitless post.. haha..

i dream of the same tink again.. so i wan to hold on to that belief.. WTF.. scold mi.. nag mi.. i tink i wun care animore.. LOL..

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Thursday, January 05, 2006

/ 3:23 PM

I'm tired.. real tired..

Told u it's jus a dream le.. wake up then everytink will b gone le..

I'm rite..

But i believe.. our fate has not ended.. trust mi..

When u r so hurt again.. ur tears can't even flow out already.. ur so damn bloody numb.. furthurmore.. ever since i dn wish to b labelled emotional.. i've learn not to cry in frnt of pple le..

N.. i tink i succeeded today..

It's raining e whole day.. isit consider god is pitying mi? cos.. promises to mi r not fuilfilled..

But.. 1 tink i mus agree.. i tink i mus thanx him 4 hurting mi once more.. cos it has shown.. how much stronger i haf grown..Thank you..

I dn blame ani1 again larx.. it's the timing tt's not rite.. N.. lyk i say.. i'm not gifing up.. I can't.. i've tried.. i'm sorrie.. Jus treat it as i'm showering u wif love.. Jus say i'm nuts.. N benzy.. stop saying tt i'm 2pid.. ya.. i noe i am.. Haix..i jus wan him 2 b happy.. 2 live his life he wans it.. even if i'm 2 sacrifise.. i'm willing 2 do it..Zhi yao ta kai xin, wo jiu kai xin lorx..

Fine.. i'm not goin into all these animore.. b4 i start to feel teary again.. esp now i'm at hm..

Post effects.. i'm still not slping well.. I'm still not eating well(i'm trying to eat sumtink 4 every meal.. but i jus can't force the food down.. i dn haf appretite..) i'm trying to keep up my mood.. i dn wan add excessive pressure.. not every1 can take pressure as well de.. Accept the fact..

i'm sorrie.. i noe u dn wan mi 2 wait animore.. but.. u did'nt fuilfill ur part either.. so.. i dn tink i can fuilfill mine.. If at the end of this post.. u felt irritated by mi.. i apologise again.. i guess.. i'm the one keep saying sorrie.. Perhaps now.. it really better 2 b ur best frend 4 now.. cos at least.. i can b there by ur side.. tt's all i wan.. =)

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Wednesday, January 04, 2006

/ 12:10 PM

1st day of sch was'nt really that great 4 mi larx..

School is basically boring.. Then.. everytink seems to pass so slowly.. there's so mani tinks i mus try getting to use to..

N.. many projects deadline at my tail..chasing after mi.. then got lots of test.. n i hate ITAB 2 e core.. how 2 finish tis bloody project when due date is on thur?!! omG.. N all i wan now is 4 my handphone to ring.. Really.. i badly need to talk..Sobx..

UrGh.. N i'm so scared.. scared of wht i can't say.. i need assurance.. reassurance.. n plenty of TLC... Which is tender loving care..

Wth am i blabbering.. i also dnnoe.. Haix..

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Tuesday, January 03, 2006

/ 2:23 PM

WoW.. tis is so great.. i jus manage to pass my one attempt quiz 4 ITAB.. i simply hate tt module to e core.. Everytink.. including e teacher tis sem.. Yuck.. Hope tt e 2pid module get over as soon as possible..

2day is the last day of vacation.. so sianx.. i hardly enjoyed my hols.. n it's jus gone.. Sobx.. N.. exams n tests r coming soon..Oh no.. n i haven study a single bit..

I suddenly got e urge of pulling out from china trip.. My mum r a bit worried abt family finances.. although they did got a bit of windfall.. but e beri fact is tt e period when i need to make payment jus so happens to be e period where a lot of fees r due..(esp.. insurance..my whole hse hold at least got 7 insurance to pay.. LOL..) Haix.. n i noe.. e money if i dn use to go china will really be useful to them lorx.. SHIT.. n i'm afraid of the 6 weeks when i'm gone.. Not that i dn haf faith.. i do.. but.. Sigh.. i dnnoe..

I'm so broke 2day.. brought contact lense.. Haix..

Never go Chinatown during CNY.. U will regret it.. tt's it 4 2nite..=)

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Monday, January 02, 2006

/ 11:38 AM

Haix.. i'm frigging bo liao now.. n my dad is going on with raving madness..

Yuck.. Stop bugging mi.. when u dn strike 4D.. dn blame it on everytink.. Dotx..

Felt so trapped here.. N.. Haix.. i dnnoe larx.. my mind is drifting off le..

My whole mind is so freaking occupied with **u.. how i wish to hear ur voice now..

N ask my dad 2 stop bugging mi now.. cos.. i'm getting pretty frustrated le..

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/ 4:55 AM

Happy New Year!! it's 2006 man..

Sigh.. c how time pass man.. It's another yr ald.. Oh god.. LOL.. another yr jus went pass.. 2005 seems 2 go faster bcos of the long break for 'o' levels.. haha.. play half a yr.. study n play the other half of the yr.. Wht u expect?

2 mani tinks has happen in the yr 2005.. Tinks that can jolly well b left behind.. 2006 is a new start.. N i mean it.. i'm so going to treasure whtever things that comes along tis yr.. i've really learn my lesson.. yue xiang wo jing jiu yue hui shi qu.. So.. 2006 is a nice yr to begin with.. YEAH..=)

N finally.. i dn need to work everyday animore!! YEAH.. YEAH.. YEAH.. then i wun b so tired..haha..Tok abt yest man.. It's a super miricle.. I tot my parents went off to msia.. DOTx.. in e end they turn back.. N wht was e most surprising tink?? they did'nt even scold mi or call mi when i was out till 4 a.m in the morning.. lOL.. normally my phone will be called until i tink i can throw them down into singapore river to stop it from ringing.. but it's all peaceful.. Haha.. it's fated de..

After work.. actually want got to esplanade to find the daiko gang de..(ivan, sharon, limin n fernando).. but the moment u step out of city hall interchange.. All u c r jus a sea of pple.. Opps.. not a sea.. It's everywhere also pple.. Okie.. so we turn back then took train to clarke quay..Wth.. also everywhere is pple.. S'pore is really 2 small larx.. i tink i yest walk enuf to burn at least all the calories i've got from the mac fries i ate tt nite.. LOL.. haha.. But it was still qutie fun.. N 1 conclusion.. Never jump into the s'pore river to die or whtever shit.. The water is super dirty.. Yuck.. u dn wish to die in a stinky manner rite.. haha..

Now we noe y a lot of $ comes from the attracting of tourist to spend in s'pore.. LOL.. Boat taxi cost lyk 70 bucks per person.. WOh.. imagine tt.. haha..coming to s'pore for holiday is money bombing.. hehe..

Singapore river has a nice view ( if u dn care abt the view in the water.. but the surrounding..) n there's a nice breeze.. n the best place to catch the 10-15 mins of fireworks is to sit by the stairs beside the bridge where u can c victoria concert hall from afar.. Fireworks r jus so beautiful.. I mean how mani time in a yr u get to view fireworks? twice.. new yr n national day.. tt's it.. Haha.. it was a special moment 4 mi.. How i wish time could jus stop there..

N there r a lot of drunk pple arn.. Dotx.. their conversation is so hilarious.. n definatley i wun wan to drink e coke they offered.. hehe..So.. we decided to walk towards the art muesuem...

Trust mi.. the art muesuem will b my next fav hang out..

It's freakly dark.. n creepy.. n tt super reminds mi of house of wax.. esp.. when there r figurines of pple outside the muesuem sitting down having tea.. Brrr...the more i tok abt it the more i felt my hair standing up..

The rest.. i dn wan to mention here.. jus treat it i'm to tired n lazy to type out everytink.. Cos i've spent lyk 1 hr typing tis post while checking my mails.. A bit restless le.. I'm jus glad 4 everytink..

Oh.. not to 4get mentioning.. i'm so goin to get my licence n drive my dad's car when out celebrating.. COS.. u cn never bloody get a cab on these days!!! WTF.. u got $ also cannot get u 1.. the booking line can't get thru.. there's no empty cabs.. n furthur more.. there's at least a few hundreds in frnt of u trying to get a cab.. LOL..

Dn ask mi 4 the solution to get hm.. 1 clue.. i got home arn 4.30.. n tt cause mi to haf butterflies in my stomach..

MY gOD!!

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Okie.. sO tis is how the tea looks lyk.. It's green.. then when u 1st drink tt stuff down.. u got tt kind of taste.. Hmm let mi c how 2 describe it.. Chinese u will say 'se'.. It's lyk dry dry 1 but got an element of bitter lyk tt.. Hmm.. Hard 2 desribe.. Aniway.. U mus eat the cake wif it.. Cos the cake is super sweet n super nice.. So when 2 mix 2gether.. e taste is reali FABULOUS.. no words can describe it.. E over white cake is geraldine's!!

Mine n fernando's cake is lyk tt when u open tt up.. Ours is lyk super hard.. while ger's is soft n has some filling inside.. COOl..=)

After tt tea session.. WE went to the next activity.. which was japanese dolls making.. (SObx.. 4got 2 take pictures of the paper dolls we make..) There's a beri nice instructor 2 teach us how 2 do.. they provided us wif the material.. the steps r fairly easy.. n dodo birds r beri noisy when thy do crafts.. dotx.. mi n ger feel lyk smacking him on e head 2 make him faint.. keep saying wht's next.. when other pple haven finish though the 3 of us had... haha.. our dolls reali not tt nice larx.. but it's the process tt's fun.. WE reali luff n joke alot when we made those.. Then my bookmark paper actually dn haf hole to punch in.. sigh.. but the person gaf mi some reali nice craft paper 2 decorate the border.. SO nice of her.. =)

Then.. while the session was goin on down stage.. Up on stage were NUS students in some jap club teach pple how 2 wear kimono.. haha.. i always wanted to try.. Nt 2 say i bHb.. but cos i beri fair then pple always say if i wear will look lyk japanese de.. Here's e chance 4 mi 2 try.. y not.. so when they wan volunteers.. i'm e 1st 2 go.. SO here comes mi..

They were half way thru the process liaox.. tis is e most difficult part.. they have to tie 2 strings/ ropes or sash or whtever u call ti arounf my waist to tighten it.. WOh.. u can reali c they reali go into ur waist... makes u a bit hard 2 breathe.. jus a bit..

They were still at the string tink.. cos it's the most impt part.. Ya.. there's 2 pple hu have to do it 4 mi.. haha.. (N p.s.. Was it mi or wht.. Did i open my eyes??)

Almost done wif the string tink..

Finally done with it.. HAha.. Now it's time to adjust my costume b4 the most they can put the cloth to tie the ribbon.. (Oh.. i realise i look awful wif kimono.. It jus does'nt match..=x..)

Okie.. so tt's when everytink is done.. they have to tie the ribbon behind with tt sach.. Haha.. They r still tightening it urGh.. but the whole tink shld jus turn out tt i have straight waist.. Serious..

Almost done..=) (It's mi alright.. lack of slp is making my eyes even smaller then ever!!)

DonE!! N there's 1 possiblity tt cos e camera is 2 far.. so it's blur.. so even if my eyes open up, also look lyk closed.. haha.. LOL..

Front view!!

Back view!!

Woh.. i have enuf of uploading of pic.. Tt's it 4 e nite.. Haha.. E rest will jus b words.. Haha.. after i finished tt.. It's almost time 4 e 2nd performance le.. BUt the rest r still not to be seen.. all went shopping le.. so we had to call them back.. guess they 4get e time themselves too.. Hmm.. so we wait 4 them 2 come back.. (LOL.. 2 bad they dn get 2 c mi wear tt.. =))

So we played the 2nd performance.. it was oki.. Then cannot keep playing le larx.. got lots of hw 2 do.. so haf 2 find a place to do.. so we tot of jus finding a cafe or sumtink 2 sit down n do work.. well.. ya.. e rest kinda 'abandon' us again.. so we jus walk walk then found Tcc.. then we went in there.. SOoner or later e whole daiko gang is there le.. But sadly.. we all seperated table s n go wif our own little gangs.. Erm.. giant came to join us.. WoW.. Wht can i say.. i dnnoe.. sumhow or another.. i sense disappoinment.. n i'm sure he never came to a cafe b4.. Or shld i say not often then.. Was suppose to work on my mob ppt.. But i kinda drifted off when we (benzy,fer,ger moo n mi n giant ofcos) went into a sort of debate on my CRS topic.. Haha.. i love debates man.. N it reali sumhow do prepare mi a bit of how e audience will react.. Haha.. By the time session ends..i achieve nth but get 2 noe a whole lot of pple better.. 2 Benzy: LOl.. Guys r bastards.. Hohoho.. jus joking larx.. Okie.. i shld say.. SOME guys r bastards.. u belong 2 e other grp.. not the bastards ones..=)

3rd performance was the best!! a lot of pple.. n i tink we played the best.. Haha.. got the atmosphere.. 2 jean: dn worry.. shi bai shi cheng gong zhi mu.. there's no major mistake make.. u will b more careful next time de.. haha.. so a day jus passed lyk tt.. n oh.. tt's tis super host at the venue.. then dnnoe say wht wasn us go mediacorp perform? Huh? how true can tt b?

Aniway.. we carried the drums back to the lorry after performance.. n it was going to rain.. WEll.. so the uncle covered up the both side wif canvas n left the back part open.. since it's jus drizzling.. guess wht.. 5 mins later.. it pour lyk nth.. UrGh.. 1st we felt wet.. so we got out the umbrella.. then we felt our head wet.. n our skin got e freezing senation when water hit us.. THen oh shit.. the 2pid roof it leaking water.. then all the drums dn haf cover.. SO we tot of using th costume to temp cover those drums skin 2st.. though not waterproof but better than nth.. B4 we covered the drums, the uncle suddenly jump out of the driving seat to close the back canvas 4 us. so gd of him.. but in the end we had to do tinks in darkness n haf 2 resort to hp lights.. haha..

Tell u.. it's 1 memorable event tt happen in daiko life.. Haha.. daiko rocks.. luckily.. when we rch sp.. it stop raining le.. So e 10 of us remaining..(mi, ger Jr, limin, jean. zm, jill, benzy, jing zhou, mz, aloy) had to carry 6 medium drums, 2 small drums, 1 big drum, 2 bags of sticks n costume, drum stands n all our bags n belonging, 2 big plastic bag of packed dinner.. By the time i finish pushing n carry everytink, i felt as if my bones were splitting n lyk no energy le.. haha..

Then the 2pud gate outside the clubhse was close.. have 2 wait 4 security 2 open 4 us.. dotx.. Then we had to push everytink in.. Drums skin were wet n i haf 2 wipe them.. After they settled down.. we settled down 2 shove down dinner.. around 20 packets of chao guo tiao.. OmG.. it's said 2 b not nice.. but i guess every1 hungry.. so everytink taste gd n edible bah.. jingzhou bcum mi n ger's rubbish bin.. take all our 'hum'.. LOL..

Found out tt mi n ger really beri alike.. hehe.. our tinking n habits all similar de.. =)

WEnt back hm.. Tried.. but satisfied..

Dotx.. so tired now.. can't take it le.. tt's it.. tis post took mi 2 hrs 2 write.. WOoT..