I realize that I am a very sad person deep down. These are the days when you feel really emo and upset.. Probably this happens when you suppress the inner emotions for too long, things just build up and go ka-boom one day.

I want to look at things in a more optimistic and objective way but can I? I know it right from the start that when I made the decision to move out, there would be problems coming along the way and so as to minimize that hurt, pain and problems, people who cared for me offered me the best solution at that time. I guess, after 6 months, things are slightly different now I guess.

Game plan have changed and I feel like it’s been more of a burden to the people I relied on. This is not the greatest feeling, I assure you. Everything is falling apart and tension grew stronger because of money. I hate it. More tension grew because communication was lacking between the adults in the house. Too many secrets were behind the doors to even the adults that were sworn to stick by each other. I hate it. Worse of all, I was stuck in there and I can’t get myself out for not involving.

I should have made a point to solve the issue right from the start but I never had the heart to broach the topic. That was the only thing I regretted that is contributing to the pain I am in now. I know between him, god and me, we all know that I did contribute the household in terms of monetary values. The amount that he owes me and others is significant. It’s more than enough to cover my stay for 6 months.

Right from the start, I should have made the decision to give him a regular sum instead of asking him to offset the amount. I guess I was just afraid that the amount that I loaned him was never going to make it back to me which made me hesitated in bringing this up.

I know I have to find a way to tell him of this plan and hopes he work something out with his plus one. I don’t want to be deemed as a leech when I know I never was. But no one knows except himself that I have been paying him in a different form. He’s ego was at stake which is why he never let anyone else knew. All I know is, I had to bear the consequence because of his ego.

I kept quiet because I didn’t want to create a discord in the family. I hope that you will truly appreciate that I actually did all these to not create problems for you and your family.

Seriously, after writing all this out, it made me feel better already. Although I am still a little upset over the fact that I do not have control of wireless usage anymore, I’m stuck in my room like a prisoner; a little light has just shone its way for me.

I will just view life as half full instead of half empty.

I will just hope for things to get better after the rain.

I feel all much better already..=)

To the person to tag on my blog under save money: It's really not your day to step on my tail. Lesson learnt for you, even if you had the best intention at heart, do not comment on people's personal life unless you tag with your bloody name to let us know who you are. Friends' concerns are greatly appreciated but useless pin-pointing from strangers seems like an insult.

Mind you, It's plan rude to put your finger into someones else life when you don't know anything about him or her. Making assumptions about people is definitely not your right.

If after reading all these, you are fucking pissed, you can:-
1. Stay away from my blog forever.
2. Call me up to give me a hell of a beating up.
3. Go to a corner to emo and beat yourself up.

Because, people around me do know that i managed my expenses much better then a hell lot of people out there. I'm sorry to say, but fuck you.

I realize that I am a very sad person deep down. These are the days when you feel really emo and upset.. Probably this happens when you suppress the inner emotions for too long, things just build up and go ka-boom one day.

I want to look at things in a more optimistic and objective way but can I? I know it right from the start that when I made the decision to move out, there would be problems coming along the way and so as to minimize that hurt, pain and problems, people who cared for me offered me the best solution at that time. I guess, after 6 months, things are slightly different now I guess.

Game plan have changed and I feel like it’s been more of a burden to the people I relied on. This is not the greatest feeling, I assure you. Everything is falling apart and tension grew stronger because of money. I hate it. More tension grew because communication was lacking between the adults in the house. Too many secrets were behind the doors to even the adults that were sworn to stick by each other. I hate it. Worse of all, I was stuck in there and I can’t get myself out for not involving.

I should have made a point to solve the issue right from the start but I never had the heart to broach the topic. That was the only thing I regretted that is contributing to the pain I am in now. I know between him, god and me, we all know that I did contribute the household in terms of monetary values. The amount that he owes me and others is significant. It’s more than enough to cover my stay for 6 months.

Right from the start, I should have made the decision to give him a regular sum instead of asking him to offset the amount. I guess I was just afraid that the amount that I loaned him was never going to make it back to me which made me hesitated in bringing this up.

I know I have to find a way to tell him of this plan and hopes he work something out with his plus one. I don’t want to be deemed as a leech when I know I never was. But no one knows except himself that I have been paying him in a different form. He’s ego was at stake which is why he never let anyone else knew. All I know is, I had to bear the consequence because of his ego.

I kept quiet because I didn’t want to create a discord in the family. I hope that you will truly appreciate that I actually did all these to not create problems for you and your family.

Seriously, after writing all this out, it made me feel better already. Although I am still a little upset over the fact that I do not have control of wireless usage anymore, I’m stuck in my room like a prisoner; a little light has just shone its way for me.

I will just view life as half full instead of half empty.

I will just hope for things to get better after the rain.

I feel all much better already..=)

To the person to tag on my blog under save money: It's really not your day to step on my tail. Lesson learnt for you, even if you had the best intention at heart, do not comment on people's personal life unless you tag with your bloody name to let us know who you are. Friends' concerns are greatly appreciated but useless pin-pointing from strangers seems like an insult.

Mind you, It's plan rude to put your finger into someones else life when you don't know anything about him or her. Making assumptions about people is definitely not your right.

If after reading all these, you are fucking pissed, you can:-
1. Stay away from my blog forever.
2. Call me up to give me a hell of a beating up.
3. Go to a corner to emo and beat yourself up.

Because, people around me do know that i managed my expenses much better then a hell lot of people out there. I'm sorry to say, but fuck you.

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