How time flies. It's been 2 weeks since i regain single status.

Working in SH just make time goes faster and faster. I can't believe it had been 2 weeks already. It still feels so raw. Working just numbed me out and reduce any free time i have on hand.

Well, at least I've stop feeling angry or cry at any moment without control anymore. But i can't help but still think of what he might be doing, how was he feeling, talking about him as examples when i have conversations with others. I guess all these years will still have it's lasting effect in my daily life and i can't stop it.

The only hard times i have is when I'm all alone and have nothing to occupy me.. It feels pretty empty down there and nothing quite satisfy you. There are so many things that you want to clear out from that emotional vault but you cannot find any words for it. These are times when you feel like just sleeping till death finds you..

The only thing i know now is that i am so true to myself. Threading on water is something so dangerous and yet I'm still willing to do it. One side of me thinks I'm freaking crazy, where the other free-willed side already knew that these decisions are made subconsciously.

I don't quite understand why i am willing to sacrifice so many things and allow my subconscious to take over me. I can let go off all control and am able to just follow instructions given to me. The scary part is the willingness of accepting all instructions without any questioning. I guess that's what been drawing me closer and closer.

Now, the problem is i know how the ending of the story will be and i never dare dream of editing it. Because I'm holding on to something so fragile and i never want it to break.

How time flies. It's been 2 weeks since i regain single status.

Working in SH just make time goes faster and faster. I can't believe it had been 2 weeks already. It still feels so raw. Working just numbed me out and reduce any free time i have on hand.

Well, at least I've stop feeling angry or cry at any moment without control anymore. But i can't help but still think of what he might be doing, how was he feeling, talking about him as examples when i have conversations with others. I guess all these years will still have it's lasting effect in my daily life and i can't stop it.

The only hard times i have is when I'm all alone and have nothing to occupy me.. It feels pretty empty down there and nothing quite satisfy you. There are so many things that you want to clear out from that emotional vault but you cannot find any words for it. These are times when you feel like just sleeping till death finds you..

The only thing i know now is that i am so true to myself. Threading on water is something so dangerous and yet I'm still willing to do it. One side of me thinks I'm freaking crazy, where the other free-willed side already knew that these decisions are made subconsciously.

I don't quite understand why i am willing to sacrifice so many things and allow my subconscious to take over me. I can let go off all control and am able to just follow instructions given to me. The scary part is the willingness of accepting all instructions without any questioning. I guess that's what been drawing me closer and closer.

Now, the problem is i know how the ending of the story will be and i never dare dream of editing it. Because I'm holding on to something so fragile and i never want it to break.

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